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How can I ever trust him again that he would lie to me about his divorce?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met my husband Dec 2007. He told me that he had been previously married and had been divorced 4 years. We were married July 2008. Before us getting married I felt that he was hiding something from me and had asked him if he was numerous times and he denied each time. I just concluded that it was paranoia on my part from previous bad relationships. 3 weeks after being married while going through some papers I found out that his divorce was only final Dec 14th 2007. My hunch was right!!! He not only lied to me once but 20 times trying to cover it up! How do I now trust him with my life? My first marriage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008):

When did he initiate the divorce? He hasn't been honest, but it's possible he wanted to put as much emotional distance between himself and his previous wife as possible.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2008):

If you seriously think he is cheating and he is refusing to even apologise and just getting angry then this might not be a marriage that you want to stay in.

However, if this one lie has destroyed your trust, you could be in danger of accusing him of every thing day after day after day, which is not going to help the situation.

Sit down and have a big long talk and get it sorted once and for all. Then you can agree to either let it go, or separate for a while.

If he'd told you this before you go married this would have been so much easier.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Also I have accused him several other times of cheating, lying you name it. I just plain dont trust him at all. Now he is mad at me and thinks I shouldnt be reacting this way and just basically feels as if I should get over it. I just dont trust him one bit!!!

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2008):

He was divorced within the month of meeting you.

But this is a pretty big lie and he had plenty of chances to come clean.

I think you should tell him that he has one chance to tell you the truth about WHY he lied to you and then kept lying.

I'm not going to say dump him, but I see nothing wrong with you leaving for a few days to stay with a friend so he knows that if he EVER lies again, his next divorce will an awful lot faster than his last one.

Good Luck!! xx

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