A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I get out of my depression. For the last 7 months Ive been hit with several bad episodes (it's been a rough year) - my relationship ended (it was a short one but still affected the way he acted towards me) he was not a caring man. My work life is just nothing exciting- it's stable but it is a place where most of the people gossip. My sister has fallen whom I love dearly -and the closeFriends I have or had are just materialist people that cause the worst in me to come out- I am in therapy now but I find myself alone - drowning in my thoughts (negative ones) . I tried to step outside and try to volunteer but I feel dumb showing up alone to place of events- I don't know what to do. All I do is drive around alone to get my thoughts and loneliness under control but it ends up feeling even more lonely. I have written here before and I guess this feeling of being stuck and overcoming this sadness is stronger than I though. I would never harm myself or anything of that matter but I just feel down most of the time- and I'm tired of being a Debbie downer- medications have not worked either- chasing money- fake friends and men hasn't either. It's me myself and I but any tips would be great
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 October 2016):
 Find things that YOU can do BY YOURSELF that makes you happy, that you enjoy.
For me, it's photography, photoshopping, drawing, painting and reading. I can go for a "short walk to take a picture (I'll have some preconceived notion of what I'd like to find) and end up having been gone 3 hours taking 25 pictures, NONE which were what I originally planned for. Photoshopping (sometimes my own pictures/drawings) are the same, I have spend a full 6 hours working on and idea that just grew and grew. I don't DO these things for OTHERS to praise or recognize - I did them because an idea came to me and I "ran with it" artistically. It brings ME joy.
I also volunteer with my 3 daughters 2 Saturdays a month at a cat shelter. All we really do is pet cats and let cats sleep on us. We are in the senior section with REAL old cats and they don't want to play, they want a lap and someone to scratch behind their ears. It brings ME joy as well. The kids love it too. If they didn't they wouldn't go. It's not done for college credits but out of wanting to do good.
I was in a triathlon club for 10 years, up until I moved away and married. JOY JOY JOY.
I also worked 70 hours a week. Not always joy there, but it WAS rewarding.
Travelling was one of the rewards of all that hard work. I traveled extensively in my 20's - solo and with friends/family.
I could go to the movies or out to eat alone. It wasn't easy the first time but I made me feel quite fine being single. That I didn't NEED someone beside me ALL the time, be it friend, family or partner.
Find meetup groups, hiking groups (if you think you could enjoy that) SOMETHING.
You NEED to find YOUR equilibrium, your center. How you do that is for YOU to discover. NO ONE but you can move you forward. And right now, the ONLY one holding you back, is you.
TRY new things. MEET new people. DO something you think you might like.
YOU have one life. Live it, don't wait for it to HAPPEN to you.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 October 2016):
 You need to start with being able to enjoy your own company. I love nothing more than having the house to myself and watching a good tv show or reading a good book and chilling with the dogs.
Have you any pets? Sometimes pets can give you a sense off company? Plus they are more loyal than humans at times.
Nobody can make you happy you need to do that yourself. If tablets did not work, go back to your doctor and see can you get on a different kind. If therapy is not helping, get another therapist. Have you done Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? If not then do that.
If people at work bring you down, then deal with it. Be friendly and polite but just get on with your work. Try new social activities. Check in your area what is available for your age group. Maybe try online dating?
You are what you make yourself. Put in the effort off making yourself happy and it will come. Just stop wallowing around in self pity, this will only make you feel worse and make the depression worse. Get out of the house and make the most off your life.
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