A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After meticulous assessment of a girl following rejection after asking them out, what can i do to get back on my feet? I feel i've grown a little cold over years, and high school is a very discouraging environment. How do i recognize love in myself or others when its become so foreign? Cool answers would be much appreciated, Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Barrybaggs  +, writes (8 November 2010):
Wow, I identify with you, my friend. The only difference is I'm over 10 years older than you. There's some positivity for you to start off with. Anyway...I think the best thing you can do in this situation (and I got hugely rejected around a year ago) is just start again. Year one. Day one. Whatever you want to call it. If you have reached this point where everything feels useless, pointless or hopeless that's fine. But you know what? It means the opposite is true too. Everything is now a blank canvas for you. Nothing is sacred anymore, and you have nothing to lose. You can literally transform into anything you like, be what you feel is you and try be a better person. It's so much of a release, just to look at your life, and realise how ridiculous life and the modern world is. Once you realise this, all your anxiety and nerves and doubts just die, majorly. You have no fear, and everything becomes a whole lot easier. Why carry dead weight? It just make the journey tougher, and you can't focus as much on the good bits.As an aside- today I was out at a shopping mall. I saw the girl who rejected me. I gave her a 'hello' and that was enough. I could go on and on about how I resented her and so on, but what's the use? I've let it go and it's more peaceful and easier to live with just to be subtly friendly. Then later on I bumped into two girls I know and I realised how sweet, funny, kind and friendly they are. Yes, they are both attractive and a man's mind can ponder. But the point is, at a time I was too wrapped up in pessimism, anger, fear, and blackness to even notice things like ''there's plenty more fish in the sea''. The world is a big, messed up, crazy, obscene hurtful place which will destroy and make you ill. Retaining your identity, staying positive and polite and picking your self up for the umpteenth time is a true test of character. If you can still see even a hint of beauty in life after pain, that's a huge achievement. Aim for that.Good luck!
A
male
reader, Barrybaggs +, writes (8 November 2010):
Wow, I identify with you, my friend. The only difference is I'm over 10 years older than you. There's some positivity for you to start off with. Anyway...
I think the best thing you can do in this situation (and I got hugely rejected around a year ago) is just start again. Year one. Day one. Whatever you want to call it. If you have reached this point where everything feels useless, pointless or hopeless that's fine. But you know what? It means the opposite is true too. Everything is now a blank canvas for you. Nothing is sacred anymore, and you have nothing to lose. You can literally transform into anything you like, be what you feel is you and try be a better person. It's so much of a release, just to look at your life, and realise how ridiculous life and the modern world is. Once you realise this, all your anxiety and nerves and doubts just die, majorly. You have no fear, and everything becomes a whole lot easier. Why carry dead weight? It just make the journey tougher, and you can't focus as much on the good bits.
As an aside- today I was out at a shopping mall. I saw the girl who rejected me. I gave her a 'hello' and that was enough. I could go on and on about how I resented her and so on, but what's the use? I've let it go and it's more peaceful and easier to live with just to be subtly friendly. Then later on I bumped into two girls I know and I realised how sweet, funny, kind and friendly they are. Yes, they are both attractive and a man's mind can ponder. But the point is, at a time I was too wrapped up in pessimism, anger, fear, and blackness to even notice things like ''there's plenty more fish in the sea''. The world is a big, messed up, crazy, obscene hurtful place which will destroy and make you ill. Retaining your identity, staying positive and polite and picking your self up for the umpteenth time is a true test of character. If you can still see even a hint of beauty in life after pain, that's a huge achievement. Aim for that.
Good luck!
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