A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm SO sick of my Ex asshole-boyfriend asking me to go over his house, too hook up, to be friends with benefits..all this stuff. It's DISGUSTING. He won't stop insisting! I broke up with him because he's just that - an asshole with a huge ego who only thinks about himself and doesn't care about people's feelings. He's been e-mailing me to go over his house and "hook up" (meaning have sex) and he doesn't realize that the LAST thing I want to do is to lose my virginity, a precious thing that I'm saving up, to an idiot who's desperate and can't even go out.The thing is, I don't know how to tell him off. I've been nice to him because I didn't want to ruin the friendship I had with OTHER people..so I've been leaving him hanging on a string...not telling him no, not telling him yes. Now, he thinks that I'll actually go. I admit...I was first flattered. But now I realize how desperate and how disgusting he really is..didn't even ask me out again. How can I approach this annoying situation? What can I say to him? (I have this horrible tendency of being nice to even the most jerky people)
View related questions:
broke up, friend with benefits, my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, scrazy  + ♥, writes (16 June 2008):
 Um..It was kind of your fault for being nice to him and letting him think he has a chance. No wonder he keeps persisting, he probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
But let him know, that NO, you do NOT want to have sex with him, you don't want ANYTHING to do with him at all; you broke up, whatever relationship you have is over.
Ignore him. Don't talk to him or contact him at all, so you don't have to be nice to him. If he doesn't take the hint, forget taking his feelings into consideration and tell him to shove off.
xo
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (16 June 2008):
 Hey baby,
Girl, I love your attitude, your words and your style. Way to wait to lose your virginity - that makes you truly a class act.
With your ex boyfriend, I would say be firm but don't be nasty. Just tell him, "look... I know you want to hook up and all this stuff, but I don't. We broke up. I'm over it. So please stop bugging me about all this stuff because it makes me feel really skeeved out by you. So let's just chill out and do our own thing now."
Or something along those lines. Lay down the law, don't feel bad. You don't need to be super nice, but you don't need to b mean. Just be firm and serious.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India
...............................
A
female
reader, c3c3znumba1 +, writes (15 June 2008):
tell him to (pardon my french) fuck off. he only wants you for one thing and he's not getting it so dont even give him hope
...............................
A
female
reader, nettles  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 You mention that you want to keep your virginity until you meet someone really special. You simply tell him that. Explain to him that you're not ready to go that far in a relationship, especially with someone you are no longer with.
If he still keeps persisting, just ignore him.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (15 June 2008):
 Hi,
you are 16-17 so you live with your parents. If he calls your home then you dont have to talk to him. If he calls your mobile dont answer. If he emails or texts you dont answer.
He'll get the message eventually.
But in your message you dont mention anything about how upset you are by him badgering you, merely that he is insistent. In fact you talk about how you are "nice" to him. If he really was the pest you make him out to be I cant see how you would be given him all this attention - I just get the feeling you are not as put out by all this attention merely by the content of it.
Either cut the umbilical chord for good or put up with more of it - its a pretty easy choice.
good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (15 June 2008):
 By being nice to him, you are sending him the wrong message, he probably thinks he is in with a chance with you.
Show him this URL, then he will know where he really stands.
Alternatively, just be honest with him. You might upset him in the short-term, but long term you are doing both yourselves a favour.
You obviously dislike the guy, so why keep leading him along? You speak so badly of him, yet you say you are friends? It seems a bit two-faced to me. If you really don't like him, be honest and stop pretending to be his friend.
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (15 June 2008):
 I don't understand why you are telling us all of this.
You've made up your mind. He's your ex boyfriend (or was that "ex asshole-boyfriend"?)
Just letting off a bit of aggression at us instead?
Chill.
...............................
|
