A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I control my moods and temper?.. My life has been anything but easy I had a compulsive liar for a mum and my dad never seemed to care ..I went on to have two children that were born with a life limiting conditions. ..my eldest son died 5 yrs ago aged 11yrs my youngest son is now 10 yrs ... My son still sees his dad every week. ..I now longer speak to my parents and that makes life easier...I would like to be able to hold down a relationship and I find it so hard I push people away constantly and if that doesn't work I am vicious with my tongue till what I say is unforgivable. I have had 3 lots of counseling but not here easiers my pain ..I have good friends and a very good life with my son and we have a fun filled life which I am proud of ...but I carnt hold a relationship I don't know what help I need any ideas
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (2 June 2017):
 I am so sorry about your children. Sending hugs to you and your son. I do hope you have many years more to share with him.
Are you getting all the help and support you can with him so that you both enjoy life as much as possible? I know you say you have a fun filled life but these days there are support groups for most conditions where you can get not only understanding support but also practical help. You are not alone. Allow people to help you if you feel you could use help.
It sounds to me (completely untrained and just basing what I think on what you have said and on my own experience of life) that you are "testing" people. Due to your early experiences with your parents, you don't trust people to love you so you push them away and test their boundaries in an effort to make them prove to you that they REALLY love you. (I spent years doing this myself until I realized what I was doing and worked out the reasons behind my behaviour.)
Our earliest experiences of love are by necessity based on how our parents love us - or not. Because children NEED unconditional love and acceptance early in life to develop into well rounded and balanced human beings, the lack of this can affect them for the rest of their lives. However, as adults we CAN learn to control what we do and say, especially when we realise how it can hurt others.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 June 2017):
 Have you seen your GP and had a full physical including your hormone levels checked?
It might BE that you are a bit "off track" and thus faster to anger/tears etc.
As for therapy - it's not a fix - it CAN help to give you tools for YOU to deal how to deal with issues and behaviors. Someone else CAN'T do that for you. And it sounds like you carry around a LOT of baggage from your childhood, did all that therapy help you resolve any of it?
I'm guessing (since I'm not a therapist/psychologist) that you sees dysfunctional relationships as the norm, it's what you grew up with. And while you logically know that is NOT how you would want to live it's a familiar pattern. How to break that? I don't know.
Are you in a happy place? With yourself? If not, that might be your focus. To find things that make you happy, POSITIVE things, mind you. A HAPPY person attracts Positive people.
I'd start with the check up though.
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