A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He gets along with my family really well. We always go out to dinner and he comes over all the time. Everything on my side of the family is great. The only problem is I feel like I have no connection with his family. His siblings and I get along well because we're around the same age but his parents and other older family members and me just don't seem to click. I'm Thai American and he's Mexican. His parents barely speak English so even if I want to talk to them, it's hard for them to understand me. I've only gone over to his house a couple times with his family there and each time has been a disaster. Not only does all the noise from people speaking Spanish give me headaches but I'm not a big fan of Mexican food. I try to like it to impress his family but I don't want to have to force myself. I'm just lost right now. I feel like I should be closer to his family but I don't know how to be when our families are so different. I'm an only child living in a two story house with my parents but he has three other siblings plus two parents all living in one apartment. Our families are way different and I want to be able to connect with his like he does to mine but I really don't know how. Any suggestions? :/ Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 How about learning Spanish? Yes it will take a while but will really impress them and show how much you care about being a part of the family. plus it is always helpful to know other languages, especially one as widely spoken as Spanish!
Other than that, maybe suggest to your boyfriend that when you next visit them, can it be on an occasion when maybe his siblings are out and just his parents are there? Or invite his parents out for a meal somewhere (you can escape the Mexican food then!). Try getting to know them in smaller numbers, so get to know his parents on their own, then try getting to know other members of the family on separate occasions. That way there is less Spanish flying around, and it will be easier to have a conversation with them.
But apart from that, just be patient and keep trying. Your boyfriend will appreciate the effort you are putting in, and the more time you spend with them the easier it will get.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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