A
female
age
26-29,
*aurenxoxoxo
writes:hey guys, well i'm in high school so of course with that said, everything is blown out of proportion! Yes..including boy situations. I'd like to think i'm pretty mature for my age (so all of my friends tell me) but the only thing i'm missing is guy experience. I've hooked up before but never really liked a guy at the same time he's liked me. I've never had that excited pit in my stomach when going to see a guy because well...i wasn't sure if he liked me back so the pit was usually nervousness. It sucks. And this may sound very juvenile to a lot of you because your obviously more mature and have a lot more experience where i'm lacking but that's where i'm hoping you guys can help me. I wouldn't like to consider myself very shy, but when it comes do guys that i like i definitely hold back rather than if they were just friends. SO here's what's going on: This summer i'd started to text this guy that my friend had told me he thought i was cute, etc, etc. and he's just such a nice guy but i'm very skeptical about everything he says because he's kind of a player..so i've heard and he definitely seems like the type to just pretend to like a girl for the physical benefits. And i, for one am definitely not an easy type of girl. Well mostly because i push people away. yes, it's happened before and i'm sick of me taking the easy way out just to avoid the complications and not gain any experience or memories. about a month before school started, we'd lost touch even though it was really nice getting to know eachother. Well anyway he was all that was on my mind. I'd think about him, how he was, if i'd even crossed his mind. But that was so hard to believe because him being the go-getter that he is, wouldn't he text me or try to talk to me OR SOMETHING? well i've always had this huge insecurity about texting guys first like i'd be obligated to get the conversation going or maybe i was annoying or something and plus guys love to chase after things that they want so that was just kind of my mindset. So school had started up again about a week ago and i was anxious to see him. and as it turns out his class is right down the hallway from mine. I talked to him about twice i think? between last week and now. But here's the thing: we have so much in common. Nationalities which is the wierdest coincedence, we like the same music taste, main interests, basically everything is compatible with him. but he's a senior. i'm a sophomore. my mom had him as a student when she taught at my school a year ago and she didn't like him very much. And on top of that i've developed a little something for him. So all of that makes me hesitant to flirt with him or walk/look his way or even say hi to him. I'm so sick of it. However i feel like if i do i'll just be so nervous and give off the wrong vibe so i need advice on how to come across calm and collected and i can't be nervous anymore. realizing my insecurity of taking a step forward messes me up in terms of maturity in that part of my life. someone please help i'm sort of embarrased to go to my friends for help, as far as they know i'm done with him so any piece of advice on how to get things going with this guy is appreciated so much!
View related questions:
flirt, player, shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (30 August 2011):
Hi there. How many years difference in age, are we talking about here?
Is it 2 years? It's not a lot is it?
The reason I ask this, is if the gap is large (5 years or even 4 years), the greater the gap in ages, he might see you as a little kid.
If the gap is not large, well then you are probably about the same stage of maturity and life experiences.
Texting is ok, however it would be better to be talking to each other face to face. Texting is so limited, compared to actually talking to each other in person. Texting is ok from time to time - in between seeing each other - however, it should NOT be a substitute for real communication, because it's so impersonal.
The main thing with relationships, is that you be yourself and be real about who you are. Don't pretend to be someone who you are not, because that comes across as false and shallow and insincere.
As you have already spent some time texting with each other, you already have found some common ground which is a great ice breaker for the beginnings of a nice friendship.
In many ways, talking in person is not very much different from talking by texting. The only difference is, you can say a lot more when you actually speak. And you don't get tired thumbs!
Keep in mind, that all relationships (boyfriend and girlfriend), start out as a friendship. You have to become friends first, to see how well you get along with each other. And then once you find that you do have a good rapport with someone, then over time it has a natural evolution towards something more emotionally close.
However, it does first starts from being friends. This is an important part of any new relationship.
Once you do have your first face to face conversation with him, don't start telling him that you love him or are "In Love" with him. Simply be friends and be kind and respectful to each other. What I mean by all this, is don't try to move things forward too fast, just let things flow naturally.
All good things take time.
You will find that everything simply falls into place, very smoothly.
|
