A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner (36 yo - I'm 39 yo) of 3 years just broke off with me again (4th time). She said she was "settling", was quite firm, said for me to make no contact and that we could no longer be friends. However, she said I ticked all the right boxes to be her partner. She's been married before and has 2 kids. She's impulsive, sees things in "black and white" and goes "hot and cold" on lots of things. We spoke often about marriage, kids, houses and a future. We're both professionals. I told her I was ok with her decision but later asked her to join me for a dinner at a restaurant we both love but had not been to in 18 months. She replied, "I'm sorry, I can't and won't". I do love her and we have great times together. I can't work out whether this is really it and, if so, what it's based on. I get the impression she was asking for marriage but I was too slow to make the move. Can it be fixed by romancing her and, then, asking her to marry me? How do I get her to see me? She seems quite firm about her position (it's been about 2 weeks) and I fear this time it is it. I don't think it's a case of allowing her to "miss" me as the only hope I have is to appeal to her on some "subconscious" level. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Ok I was with a guy for 8 years, pretty much the same situation. I wanted to get married and he didn't or so it seemed. This made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him and that he was just with me biding time until something better came along.
in the end i developed a friendship with a guy who had all the qualities i admired in a man and was looking for the same things as me. I took a chance and left my man to pursue this guy. Its 6 months later and we are engaged and I have never been happier. I dont live my life wondering why im not enough.
If your serious about getting her back take action NOW! Do some seriouse romancing. If you really dont want to lose her ask her to marry you. If you dont know if you want to get married then she obviously isnt THE ONE and you should leave her alone.
To get her to see you maybe do something romantic every day for a week. For example send her flowers at work a different bunch every day roses one day, lilys the next etc. She will soon get the idea that you are serious. You could even write her a letter to tell her how you feel if she wont answer your calls. Then on the weekend after a week of flowers etc ask her out and make it AMAZING! Tell her that she means the world to her. Im thinking hire a limo to pick her up at her house and take her somehere that is romantic because it has special meaning for the two of you.
Maybe I live in a fantasy land lol
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