A
female
age
36-40,
*piragira
writes:Hi there,I am currently in a very serious relationship with my fiance who i have been seeing for 6 years. We have a little girl of 2 years. Lately, within the last 6 months i have had no desire to want sex (at all). I had the mirena coil put in last year as a last option as i cannot take contraceptive pills and my partner seems to think that my loss in libido is due to the mirena coil. I disagree. Although, im not sure what has caused this sudden decrease. My partner was fine about it at first, but now he seems to be getting more and more angry and depressed about it and making hurtful comments. I really need to do something fast as im worried he may go elsewhere. I hate going to the doctors about personal issues but if i have to i will. Do you have any alternatives or methods in which i could try to sort myself out? I dont even really care about sex anymore, i just want my partner to be happy with me. Please help!
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female
reader, vicky121087 +, writes (20 July 2010):
Lack of sex drive (lack of libido) is common in women, but quite rare in men. The American Medical Association has estimated that several million US women suffer from what doctors there call 'female sexual arousal disorder' (FSAD).However, there seems to be an FSAD bandwagon, driven by doctors who think that nearly half the female population (43 per cent) lack sex drive. Such a high number really doesn’t seem likely.In the UK, family planning clinics and Relate clinics see quite large numbers of women who complain of low libido. Our estimate is that at any one time, several hundred thousand women in Britain are troubled by lack of sex drive.Many of these women have no problems with having orgasms. Rather, they have no real desire to have sex and their minds are not turned on by the prospect of love-making.Fortunately, for many women this lack of libido is only temporary. Some will get over it by themselves, and a lot more can be helped by expert medical or psychosexual advice. Others do not really want to get back into the world of rampaging sexual desire and are quite happy to lead lives which are untroubled by lust.What are the causes of lack of libido in women?As is the case with men, lack of desire in women can be of either physical or psychological origin.Physical causesAnaemia, which is very common in women because of iron loss during periods.Alcoholism.Drug abuse.Major diseases such as diabetes.Post-baby 'coolness', a term we have coined for the loss of libido that often happens after childbirth. It is almost certainly linked to hormonal changes that occur at this time. The general trauma of childbirth also plays a part - and after having a baby, many women are too exhausted to think about sex.Prescribed drugs, particularly tranquillisers.Hyperprolactinaemia - a rare disorder in which the pituitary gland is overactive.Other hormone abnormalities: leading Swiss gynaecologist Dr Michael Nemec claims that abnormalities in the production of luteinising hormone (LH) often cause lack of desire. And top British gynaecologist John Studd says that many women who have lost their libido lack androgenic (male) hormones. This view remains controversial.You may be surprised that we haven't mentioned the menopause as a physical cause of loss of desire.Contrary to myth, the menopause doesn't usually cause loss of libido, and many women feel a lot sexier and have more orgasms in the postmenopausal part of their life.Psychological causesThese causes are very common. It's understandable that when a woman is having a bad time emotionally, she may lose interest in sex.Psychological causes include:depression stress and overworkanxietyhang-ups from childhoodpast sexual abuse or rapelatent lesbianismserious relationship problems with your partnerdifficult living conditions, eg sharing a home with parents or parents-in-law. What should a woman do about lack of libido?Start by going to your GP, who can discuss the problem with you and do any necessary tests.An alternative is to go to a woman doctor at a family planning clinic, since these practitioners are used to dealing with this particular problem.Unfortunately, in the last few years family planning clinics have become swamped with patients, and many of them now won't take on psychosexual difficulties.If psychological or relationship factors are predominant, it may well be worth going to Relate or Relationships Scotland. They are very experienced in these matters.Are there any medicines for female loss of desire?While it’s clear that the big pharmaceutical companies are searching for a drug that will turn women on, they have had little success.At present, drugs are not of much relevance to the average woman who wants to pep up her libido a bit.Far more important is to have the support and understanding of a partner who wants to help you defeat the problem - and who understands how to get you excited in bed.Hormones are often suggested as a treatment for FSAD, particularly the male sex hormone testosterone.Doctors have been trying out testosterone on women for more than 40 years, rarely with much benefit. Side-effects include hairiness, spots, a deep voice and enlargement of the clitoris.However, there is clinical evidence to support the use of testosterone as a treatment for low sexual desire. In 2007 a testosterone skin patch called Intrinsa became available in the UK.This patch is only licensed on the NHS for women who have had an early surgically-induced menopause. Obviously, this is quite a small number of people.We do know that Intrinsa is being prescribed privately for other women with low libido, or hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) as it is now being termed. So far, reactions to this drug are mixed.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (20 July 2010):
 Mirena is well known to have this side-effect, more than other hormonal contraceptives. Think about it, you said you can't take contraceptive pills. But those hormones are exactly the same as the ones as in Mirena. So if you react to the pills orally, then you'll react to the Mirena vaginally. When I took the pills they killed my sex drive too. My partner begged me to go off them, but I didn't believe that was why. I went off them though eventually, and within days I was like a rabid sex monster. Oh and I found I could orgasm much easier. Why not use condoms? Either way, I'd say it's EXTREMELY likely the Mirena is the problem. And I'm sure your partner would be thrilled to use condoms if it meant you guys had more sex.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 July 2010):
 I read that a sex therepist said to women with low libido to have sex EVERY day for 30 days straight.
And I agree it can definently be the Mirena coil.
And your partner is NOT as OK with it as he claims, he jsut doesn't want to put pressure on you.
I suggest you talk to your doctor and maybe check this book out.
Sizzling Sex in 30 Days by Roz Van Meter
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