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female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:hi, i see my boyfriend nearly every day. he shares a house with his housemate and is 26. iam 20 and i have asian parents who are not too strict, they will let me go out till very late with him and let me spend a lot of time with him. i would very much like to sleep over my boyfriends house but i don't know how to ask my parents? is there a right way of asking them? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Ahhh that's a tricky one. It's one thing to not be strict, but it's another for a father to hear that his little girl's going to be spending the night at a guy's house. So you're right, it's quite delicate.
I think the way to do it, if there is a way, is to prove that you're being safe about it. Is he using condoms? Are you faithfully on the pill? Is he drug and disease free?
Parents are protective, and so I think it'll ease their minds if you demonstrate that you are watching out for yourself. Also, just convey to them that this isn't some sort of fling, and you love this guy and he loves you and there's a level of commitment here that separates the two of you from some weekend boredom.
Good luck!
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female
reader, cnith +, writes (26 May 2010):
 I'm not sure how this works where you are but at 20 you're an adult capable of making your own decisions. Then again, where I am, in California, a 20 yr old isn't living with parents anymore so it's easier.
Maybe your culture is that this is normal so forgive me if I am out of touch. I will pretend that you're a minor to answer this question. Although that brings up other issues...
Anyway, I say you just ask. Can I have a sleepover at my bf's house. Or say friend, if you want, either way. Although I don't really condone lying.
Or you could try the well I fell asleep at his house, I promise I slept on the couch! although I go back to the lying part...
Hmmm... maybe you could just be honest. Mom, Dad, I'm an adult and I'd like to take my relationship with my bf to the next level. I'm spending the night with him on Tuesday (whatever day.) If they fuss, you can say, Don't worry, I'm not being foolish. I will be careful and make sure nothing happens. I will be OK. Trust me, OK? You raised me to be a good girl. I won't be doing anything to be ashamed of.
Hey, what the hell, the truth sometimes works... ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Sounds like no matter how you ask your parents are set in their ways. Your an adult now, you can make your own decisions, and you have to let your parents know that. Then you can ask them to at least support your and respect the things you choose even if they don't agree with them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Well im not sure the circumstance but i started staying over at my boyfrineds house when i would be drinking that night cause i would tell them i didn't want to drink and drive and im not sure i will have a ride home. That was fine with them. If its just to spend more time, just tell ask them if you could maybe just stay at his place instead of having to drive all the way home so late at night.
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