A
female
age
18-21,
*sKat
writes:Hey everyone! I have a little problem and I need advice from guys and girls. I met this guy a month ago. He is amazing! He is sweet, gentlemen, very mature, and many more amazing qualities. He told me last Sunday that he likes me and he would like to have something with me, but later on when we know more about each other. He works and has a car and soon we will be starting college like me. (By that I mean that he has many things accomplished) He writes me poems, songs and well he is just to die for. He is physically cute too, but here is the problem. I am a very preppy girl and I don’t like guys that dress baggy or that word GUETTO. Unfortunately, he dresses this way and I don’t like that :( … I don’t want to tell him anything because I am not the type of person, but I would like him MORE if he would change the way he dresses. So, I need your help :) How should I approach him and tell him my opinion with out hurting his feelings or with out him taking it the wrong way? I just want him to dress cuter, not only for me, but also for his own appearance you know? Like if you see someone dressed like that bad thoughts come to your mind. I hope you guys can understand me. So what word should come out of my mouth? Also, please give all your opinions, good or bad :) Thank! I’ll be waiting. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  + ♥, writes (8 October 2009):
 Hey sweet,
I agree with everyone - if you like him, why should it matter what he wears? HOWEVER, I do feel you... I really do. I dated a great guy for awhile who was a certified hippie. I loved him to death, and we had tons in common (could talk for hours), but he wore the most hideous clothes - ripped up, far too big, torn up, mishapen - it was a situation. And I would sometimes look at him and think, "if I could only get you into some new clothes that fit you...". So I don't think that you're mean or thinking cruelly or that you don't genuinely like him, you just want him to shift into something a little more flattering.
Well, first things first, get over it. He may never get out of those clothes. So bear with him, if he's really a great guy. Great guys are EXTREMELY hard to find, much more challenging than finding good dressers. But lucky for you, good clothes are easy to find! And you have the holidays right around the corner. So, you can try buying him a new shirt or pants and just be casual (not pushy). "I thought this would look really good on you!" is appropriate, rather than saying, "you look AWFUL, I wish you'd just wear nicer things".
So try a casual approach, but accept that he may never change. See beyond the pants to the guy inside of them!
Good luck, sweetness!
A
male
reader, PeterPan + ♥, writes (7 October 2009):
 First, I can understand your situation here. But, I really feel the need to caution you about making changes in your boyfriend's attire. Sure, you may want him to dress more "GQ", but ultimately, it's up to him the way he dresses. Everyone's clothing choices are an expression of their personality... so, in effect, are you trying to change his personality?
In general, it's not the best idea to try and change the significant other. Many relationships have been squashed because of that need to change something. At the same time, it's the mature guy that recognizes that those imposed changes are another expression of your affections (and vice-versa to some degree). Putting a qualifier ("I would like him MORE if he would change the way he dresses") is a dangerous mindset. Have you considered the oppose point of view: he might like you to be more like his style?
Anyway, I would tread cautiously here. If you like him for him, let him be him -- clothing and all.
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A
female
reader, Melys  + ♥, writes (7 October 2009):
 Hi there....
Hmmm...you could maybe suggest to go shopping with him...and whilst walking round, say you've seen something in a window that you think would look great on him...take him in and say you find that item of clothing so sexy on a guy...
I wouldn't put his dress sense down, don't want to hurt his feelings...just be tactful! and he obviously wants to impress you so he could be persuaded to wear more to what you like...
I think that 'ghetto' baggy look is quite sexy on a guy...but I guess each to their own!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Lola1  + ♥, writes (7 October 2009):
 Try saying this: "I accept you for who you are." I like a man who can dress well too, but aside from simply saying, "This style would suit you," you have no right to ask him to change for you.
After a month of dating (which is WAY too soon for anyone to make any self-improvement suggestions) taking issue with his style of dress is absurd! You have everything else you could want and you can't overlook this one thing?
And it's spelled, "GHETTO". :-S
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A
female
reader, idetektiv +, writes (7 October 2009):
 To be honest, in my feelings, if you like him so much, why should it matter how he dresses? You know he's a sweet, caring person, so it shouldn't matter if he comes off a little tough or street to others.
I understand that you don't like that type of style, but he does, just like you like your preppy style. I imagine it'd be pretty weird if he were to ask you to dress a bit 'ghetto'ish, right? If you really want to see something change, maybe ask him to dress a bit more conservative for your next date.
Don't say to dress 'nicer' because that sounds like an insult, or to me it does, anyways. I don't think you should let his clothing bother you, he sounds like a wonderful person, with a lot going for him. :)
Good luck in whatever you do!
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