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How can get my family to see they're being taken advantage of here???

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Question - (24 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi all!

I'm really annoyed about what's happened lately with my aunt. About 8 years ago she left the UK and married an American guy and now lives in the USA.

Since she has been there she has never worked because she wanted to stay at home with her 2 kids which is fair enough. Now her husband works but doesn't earn a lot and in the past all I see our family here has sent them money.

Both her kids are at school now so she can get a job but refuses to as there's too much housework for her to do. Now I work with a couple of women who are single parents and they manage to have a part time job around their kids school so I believe she just doesn't want to get a job out of the house.

This wouldn't bother me but on several occasions she has called up my grandparents (who are both in their 80's and not in the best of health) crying down the phone complaing they have no money and guess what they feel bad for her and send over a huge amount of money.

I know it's none if my business but I do feel she takes advantage of them - she never directly asks them for money but creates such a sob story that she knows they will give in.

To be clear this is NOT because I am jealous. Fortunatly my husband runs a successful business and I have a good job so we don't want or expect money from anyone!

View related questions: I work with, jealous, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010):

Hi, I posted this. It's my mums sister& she is angry about this too. In the past she has told her sister-my aunt not to keep worrying my grandparents with her money problems. My aunt just retaliates by saying that my grandparents asks how she i'd& she wants to be honest with them but doesn't feel she is worrying them& plays it down.

My mum has told my grandparents not to bow to her every whim but they won't listen& continue to send money as they worry about her!

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A female reader, Tigerlily United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

Yeah I agree with anon, a lot of us have "one of those" family members, always mooching. Who's sister is she? your mom or dads? Have you talked to them about it and how you feel? What do they have to say about how their sibling behaves? I'm not sure it's your place to say something, but I def think this woman's brother or sister could speak up.

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A female reader, Chickb United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2010):

I know a couple who are exactly the same- the only difference is that neither of them work& they claim benefits! Every time we'd meet up they would whinge about how their kids had no clothes as they were growing up & having growth spurts etc. So like a fool I used to give them money to help them out because I felt sorry for them. Then I realised they were using me&. No longer speak to them.

Rant over-lol!

Now you can voice your concerns to your grandparents but remember that is their daughter who lives far away& they will do anything to help her. If I were you I wouldn't send her anymore money& other members of the family should stop aswell otherwise she will never get a job as she knows she gas a reliable source if income- you guys!

X

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