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How am I supposed to make this relationship great when I can hardly ever see her?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *pideysamson writes:

My relationship with my girlfriend has been going downhill lately. In this relationship im a jealous guy and thats new to me. I would never have figured myself to be a jealous guy.

My first big problem is when I noticed my girlfriend take an interest in a guy called Dan. What was only harmless flirting, I took a lot worse. I knew it was just me being jealous so I held it in, knowing she would get angry if I told her I was jealous. Then one day she invited me to the beach and told me her friends were coming (including dan). I wasn't sure if I should go. If I did go then I might get too jealous. If I didn't go a lot of flirting might go on. In the end I didn't go but that was a bad decision. The next day one of my friends who had gone to the beach with my girlfriend told me how a LOT of flirting had gone on and how he thought it was out of order.

I brought it up with my girlfriend, and we argued but made up with her promising to help me not get jealous by trying to stop her flirting.

But I couldn't help but be left with a sense of unease about Dan. I still got very jealous whenever I knew she'd been out with friends and he was there.

We've had exams recently so my girlfriends been spending A LOT of time revising. Which means A LOT less time with me. I dont see her now for maybe a week and a half at a time. GAH not seeing her for ages just makes my jealousy run overrdrive. She doesn't come on msn, she doesn't call me. I have to call her.

Recently I called her and we arranged to meet up on the thursday. On tuesday afternoon I came on msn and emily and her friends started talking to me on someone elses msn account (they were round a guy called sams house and using his account). At first I was annoyed she was seeing her friends and not me, but then I thought thats stupid she needs to see her friends too. Then I was told it wasnt even my girlfriend I was speaking to it was her friends. When I asked where my girlfriend was I was told she was watching tv. Then 5 mins later, my girlfriends friend says to me "Did you know Emily(my gf) gets turned on when people touch her feet? lol she just slapped dan for saying that to her." I was very pissed of and jealous then. That she could see dan but not me.

Then on the wednesday I called her in the evening,and when I asked her what she was up to she said that she had 11 people at her house at the moment!!! I was like WTF. But I kept quiet about it. On the thursday when we met up things were going well-ish it just felt wierd that we hadnt seen each other for so long. I felt nervous about going in to kiss my own girlfriend ffs. Then she accidentally saw a text that i had sent to my friend the previous night about how pissed off I was that she had all those people round yet can never see me, and how I bet dan was there flirting away with her. Obv she wasnt pleased and we talked it through. We talked it out but although things were mended we were still a bit sore.

I invited her to the beach today but she didnt want to come. I asked her to a party tommorow night but she has to revise for her german exam. I want to make the relationship great again but how am I supposed to when I can barely ever see her?

View related questions: flirt, jealous, msn, text

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (22 June 2010):

janniepeg agony auntShe lost interest in you. Things went wrong and instead of communicating about issues and conflict, she chose an easy exit by taking an interest in Dan. I think she and her friends were teaming up to let you know that you and her are pretty much finished. She's basically doing everything to result in you breaking up with her but trust me, if you confront her about it she will be all emotional and saying don't go. I would be very insulted if I were you and I would never talk to her again.

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