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How am I supposed to just be there for him and be his friend, when i'm still in love with him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2006) 7 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2006)
A female Canada, *aiting_on_luv writes:

Hi, my bf recently broke up with me bcuz he wanted to have a closure with his ex. He started hanging out with her, and the feelings came back, and he wants to see where it will go and if they still fight. He told me as soon as they have a fight he's going to come back to me and never talk to her again. We were dating for about 9 months, and theres an age difference of 2 and 1/2 years. I have decided to stay friends with him, bcuz i really believe he will come back to me. My question is that i cant stop txting him or calling him when hes out with his ex, how can i get my mind off him? Ive tried going out with my girlfriends but i keep seeing couples in love all over the place and it reminds me of wat i used to have. How am i supposed to just be there for him and be his friend, when im still in love with him? and everywhere i go, something is there that reminds of us:(

View related questions: broke up, his ex

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A female reader, waiting_on_luv Canada +, writes (10 October 2006):

waiting_on_luv is verified as being by the original poster of the question

waiting_on_luv agony auntI meant " simply_maricar" not "andrea23" sorry :(

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A female reader, waiting_on_luv Canada +, writes (9 October 2006):

waiting_on_luv is verified as being by the original poster of the question

waiting_on_luv agony auntandrea23, ur saying i should try to win him back? how am i supposed to do that? and i wanted to point out that when we hang out he still wants to kiss me, and i talked with him about it, and i think he just cant choose between me and his ex. I dont want to be caught up in this love triangle but i want him to either lose his feelings for me, and go with his ex, or keep loving me and be friends with his ex. I know thats a hard thing to ask, but its so confusing when someone says they love someone else, and they still want to be with u.

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A female reader, andrea23 +, writes (9 October 2006):

andrea23 agony aunti'm gonna be honest with you here but in his eyes you're just 2nd best when he's telling you he's going back to his ex but if it does'nt work out he'll come back to you. you should just forget about him the way he'll forget about you when he's having cosy nights with his ex. there's plenty more fish in the sea

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A female reader, simply_maricar +, writes (9 October 2006):

elow der,

for me if u still love her/him why don't you tell him and show him/her how much you cared for...,because if you woon't nobody can't do that for you...

If you can't do that just be a friend to him/her and always say that i'm always be here with you even when your on someone else..It's hurt but this is for you to show that you have a concern to him/her even he/she hurt your feelings.

God bless....

maricar(",)

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A female reader, waiting_on_luv Canada +, writes (8 October 2006):

waiting_on_luv is verified as being by the original poster of the question

waiting_on_luv agony auntHey, I just wanted to say, I know I shouldn't lower my self to be second in his heart, but I need to stay friends with him. Thanks for the advice but i think i've figured out what to do.. and thats to wait for him, i know thats putting myself as second, but he did pick me over her when i made him choose, and the only reason i didn't keep it like that was becuz he would be wondering wat would have happend the rest of his life. So if i let him go, and he comes back, he'll be mine forever, and if he doesnt, he never was.. :)

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A female reader, xxxsophxx +, writes (8 October 2006):

aww huni! i no it's difficult! feel thankful that you had a something with this boy but sumtimes you have to move on. being his friend is fine but make sure you know what you realy want. it sounds to me like your his rebound girl! and you can do so much beter than that! meet new people! have memories with them! but remember if you still love this boy fight for what you want becuase at the end of the day your happiness is what is important!!! w.b and let me no how its going xxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, Katylouise +, writes (8 October 2006):

You are being niave please dont get back with this guy he is using you. He said that if it dosent work with his ex then he willcome back to you dont you understand the meaning of that? It means that if it dosent work out with the girl he really wants to be with then he'll settle for you. Dont ever be second best, wait for a guy that deserves your love.

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