A
female
age
30-35,
*KLivinLily
writes:I just moved in with my boyfriend several weeks ago. I had been holding off having sex for a long time and we finally started having it a little while before I moved in. Now that we're living together, he wants to have sex all of the time. It's gotten to the point where I just walk into the door from work and he's on me and I'm just plain exhausted. I love him and I love having sex with him but I need to slow down. How can I talk to him about laying off a bit and giving me time to breathe?
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female
reader, JKLivinLily +, writes (6 July 2010):
JKLivinLily is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all so much for your input! he is such a sweetheart and i didn't want to hurt his feelings so i really appreciate your suggestions! i do have to let you know that he does work, i'm not paying the bills by myself haha, but again, thank you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): Im 42 and my gf is 33. We've been dating over two years now and live together. "Not now" is not a phase in either of our vocabularies. We are completely opposite in so many ways, but not this one..... : )
Sex is very important to a relationship, perhaps the most important thing. Make sure you are compatible with the person you are with.
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A
female
reader, jujubelover +, writes (5 July 2010):
 I wish I’d had something like DearCupid to ask questions 30 years ago. One thing I’ve learned from experience is to communicate with your partner. Tell him nicely what you like and don’t like from the beginning. Remember, you might have to compromise. That way he will know exactly what you want and don’t want. According to recent studies, men and women have different times they want sex. Around four in the afternoon is when both sexes are in tune with one another. Lots of luck to you. Wow, It’s wonderful when you feel that someone really, really wants and desires you. You are a lucky girl!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): get in there
lool
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Mal.. LOL.
My husband is like that too, and if I don't want it, I just ignore his atempts and brush him off. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): First of all, how lovely to hear you love your boyfriend and that you're happy!
This is what is commonly known as the honeymoon period, where sex is pretty much top of the agenda, as you are both so new to each other. And as you hadn't started to make love, have sex much before you moved in together, your boyfriend no doubt is a very eager lover. So natural and normal. However, I can assure you it will calm down, it won't be like this all the time. And although you don't say how many times your boyfriend expects and wants to make love with you, I presume what's getting you a little jaded, is the fact you don't have time to get in from work and relax, wind down, talk and gather your thoughts before he wants to make love...How wonderful he loves you!
In the beginning of my relationship, sex was varied and often, certainly several times a day, every day for at least 3 years or so, it then calmed down as all love making does.
Everyone's honeymoon period is different, depending on your own personal sex drive and preference. Some people it's six months before their sex life settles into a slower pace, and some a couple of years..but it will slow up eventually.
My suggestion would be. Don't tell him yet it is too much for you, but suggest a kind of game, allowing you to get in to unwind, so as to make it a better experience for both of you, how you want to get ready for him, entice, please and tease, not a scolding for desiring you, explain waiting can make it explosive with anticipation.
Just ease him back gently...and enjoy this time, it only ever happens once in a relationship..
You both sound so in love..good luck!
Jilly X
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A
female
reader, Laurenbabz  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 i would just confront him and tell him how you feel, and if he doesnt like it well, its your feelings he is hurting,your not some slave he owns good luck with this!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 I would tell him exactly what you've told us. You love sex with him but not the minute you walk in the door. Also he needs to aquire a bit more finesse. Tell him no sex without some romance. If he wants to jump you the minute you walk in the door he needs to have made tea, tidied the house completely, layed a trail of rose petals out etc. Be really honest with him and tell him how it makes you feel. Good luck
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 July 2010):
 You sit him down in a non-threatening way and talk to him about it. Good ways to be non-threatening are to not face him (like while sitting in a car or walking together) and/or sit a little lower than him (like he's in a chair you're on the floor).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): well you could try getting married. that usually works.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): You need to tell him and let him know. Maybe say to him that its wearing you out and we need to slow down, if he loves you enough he will understand. Good luck x
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