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His thinks his dog can do no wrong. I can't take much more our relationship, what can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 July 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hi everyone this may sound like a silly problem to some people but my boyfriends dog is ruining our relationship

heres some background.

weve been together for 2 years I have a daughter from a previous relationship she is 3 and a half

anyway heres the problem since me and my boyfriend met he has had this dog which is a lovely dog but always needs my boyfriends attention it is not a small dog either he weighs 6 stone

everytime the dog does something it shouldn't and I stop the dog from doing it my boyfriend always defends the dog it can do no wrong like if I look at the dog my boyfriend says why you looking at him like that like today?

I have just bought my daughter a bouncy castle for her birthday I came home from work earlier and my boyfriend and the dog were both on it so naturally I got mad but he defended the dog again it can honestly do no wrong in my boyfriends eyes

what do I do I don't think I can take much more our relationship is very good apart from the dog thank you

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 July 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThis one is easy.....

You flip a coin.... if it lands on its edge, you stay with this character; if it lands on one of its flat sides, you dump him (and his dog), take you daughter, and get on with your life, without him....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDogs are like kids (cats too in a way, though they are WAY more independent than dogs) and DO require a lot of attention, affection, training etc.

Instead of "punishing his dog" - I think you should sit down and talk some rules with him. WHAT is the "right" way for you to approach the dog when it does something you don't like.

Basically "consider" it as HIS kid.

As for not wanting the dog on the bouncy castle, well it's a big dog with thick claws, I wouldn't want a dog in that either. If you get a puncture or two that caste is as good as trashed. SO TALK to him, SET boundaries.

Instead of seeing the dog as "competition" for your affections and attention (which I think you do) maybe you should spend some time bonding with the dog?

Just like YOUR daughter is part of you, the DOG is part of him. He isn't going to get rid of the dog,because you don't like it.

I find it so odd that you moved in with him without having dealt with this issue.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2015):

Some people put their dogs first. Reasons may differ. Some haven't had children of their own and regard them as their children. Although I think pet dogs should be treated as part of the family, there should be human priorities. I have known people who, if the money is tight, would spend it on the dogs for quality food, vet check ups, etc. they clearly regarded them as their children because they had none. Most people with children put their children first. There will always be resources for the dogs.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2015):

There are quite a few questions on here about dogs spoiling relationships. Where partners hadn't trained them properly and how that caused issues and conflicts.

I don't know, dogs will be dogs. Sounds like it's just been a normal dog, most of them want attention constantly, they are like toddlers that never grow up. Adorable toddlers but still time consuming. You need to accept that fact at least.

As for the bad behaviour, what exactly is it doing? Eating shoes? Peeing in shoes? Pooping in the house? Jumping onto furniture?

I love dogs but we had a German Shepherd as children and wanted/needed constant attention too. I took care of somebody's bulldog once and he was the same.

As for bad habits, if dogs aren't trained correctly/socialised as puppies, it can be very hard to change any bad behaviours, so you may need the help of an expert trainer if the bad stuff is as bad as you say? Some examples would be helpful.

How old is the dog and what breed by the way?

Cats are a lot less hassle, although still demand attention sometimes. I've wanted a dog for ages but I live alone and it's such a huge responsibility, I refrained for the dog's sake as well as my own. A lot of people don't give much advance thought to the commitment that ownership involves. And they are usually the ones who don't give much planning or thought to having children either!

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