A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. Please help me. If you had been in an exclusive relationship with someone for almost seven months when you found their OKCupid profile was still active (last logged in yesterday afternoon) with its status set to single, how would you handle it?I've never been in this situation and I have no idea what to do. Advice would be much appreciated :( Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 March 2015):
 Ask him.
The first question is "what are YOU doing on OK CUPID?"
if the answer is "checking to see what your status was/is"
then you have an issue and he has an issue.
personally if you two have had the "we are exclusive" talk and you are sexual, I'd want to say "have a nice life being single" and walk away.
it's hard to do and I think in my younger days I would have let it roll and stayed with the guy and believed his excuses... NOT now.
you want to be SINGLE.. poof you are single...
A
female
reader, Gladtohelp +, writes (30 March 2015):
 Don't stress about it. It might mean nothing it might mean something. Communication is key in relationships and trust. Speak to him about it. Be honest with him and yourself. If he doesn't appreciate you and doesn't seem to care then you know you deserve better and you should start reevaluating your relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2015): 7 months is long enough. He should know what he wants in terms of not searching anymore or breaking up if he wants to. If he had a profile but it was deactivated for matches that would be another story, he has recently checked it and in his opinion, he is single! He could be cheating on you for all you know. Confront, see what his story is and then you need to move on probably.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): You didn't say you were in a "committed" relationship. You said you were "exclusive" for almost seven months. Apparently he has kept his options open. Just a warning, he's going to plead innocence on a technicality. Be prepared. You can't lie if you recently checked your active profile. The date last viewed is still there.
Are you regularly having sex without a formal-commitment?
If the answer is yes, there you have it.
Personally, I don't think he's as serious about your romantic-connection as you are. You should confront him to let him know you are now aware his online-dating profile is still active; and that you know he recently viewed it.
There had better be a closed-account since that date; if he has any alibi or argument at all in his own defense.
Under the informal-circumstances, I believe he feels he's still on the market. I think he's a tool. I don't think you're the "friend's with benefits" type of lady.
I'm sorry to say; he's just interested in long-term dating. He isn't necessarily committed to you. I don't see a reason to keep him around. Do you?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 March 2015):
 I would talk to him and ask if he RATHER be single, because having an ACTIVE dating profile stating he is single, means (to me at least) that he IS STILL looking for someone. THAT you are NOT it for him.
7 months is DEFINITELY long enough to decide that you WANT to be with that person or not, if you do TAKE the profile down - if you don't END the relationship. THERE is not middle point here. Either he WANTS to be with you... or ... he wants to be single.
Personally, I'd end it. Knowing that my partner is STILL LOOKING and calling himself "single" behind my back, is not something I would tolerate.
My guess is if you bring it up he will claim that he has forgotten ALL about the dating profile, or that his friends made it, or some other LAME excuse.
Sorry.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): I'd ask her to shut down the account or I leave.
...............................
|
