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His schooling is a HUGE issue between us...He has no time for me!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *.love.you writes:

I've not been with my boyfriend for long, but I knew him when we were children (ages 4-11). He's a very sweet when we're together, and though his texts and messages are short, to the point and anything but conversational, he tries.

But, no matter how hard he tries, I just don't feel that we can have a relationship when there's this HUGE thing between us.

His schooling.

I know it sounds childish, mean, and more than a little selfish, but I can't ignore the fact that he goes to school from 8:20am - 6:30pm (MINIMUM) and this happens five days a week, and then he goes in on a Saturday too! 8:20am - 11:30pm. Then, on Sunday, he goes to Rugby.

He has no time for me, and though he pushes himself to spend time with me ... he really doesn't have the energy in him to do this for very long.

Take this, for example, we went to a friends house together on Friday, and then Saturday morning he had to go into school from my house. He looked like hell, and I'm sure he worked like hell too. It's a private school and I don't want his work to suffer in the last few weeks before we leave because he feels like he needs to spend time with me.

And it's not only physically spending time together, but he's hardly able to text me, or wants to text me, and he has to be in bed by 9:00pm!

Do I let him go so that his grades won't suffer? I care about him, but I know that sometimes a girlfriend AND all that work, AND then Rugby on Sundays.

Because, even when he does come round on a Friday, he has school the next morning, and then if he goes out Saturday, he has Rugby early on Sunday. HE DOESN'T GET A DAYS REST.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011):

I would honestly talk to him about it. It sounds like you have a busy guy on your hands but it seems like he is trying his best to get to see you. One options would be to not put the label on you two as a relationship and just be friends. It would take the pressure off that comes with maintaining a relationship. You would just have to understand the consequences of the actions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011):

Is that even legal? To allow a student to go to school for such a great length of time?

He needs to drop a few courses or else he;s gonna burn himself out.

Flynn 24

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