A
female
age
30-35,
*ara'93
writes:hi, recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend! We've been going out for about 6 months and we felt we were ready. He and i were virgins at the time. But a few days after i found out from a friend that his mum and dad are very religious people and believe in sex after marrage! I'd feel guilty if his parents knew about us. I tried talking to him about it but i can't get the words out. Please help me. X
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female
reader, nallia  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 okay this can be a problem.
my man's family is the same where as i was not a virgin, i took his. yup i hold his vcard. anyways, it depends on how much they drilled it into his head for instance.
after i had slept with my bf i new for four years and dated for four months, his line was "you know what this means right" his parents had been so religeious to drill it into his head that sex is done with the person you are going to marry so i pretty much, in his mind, signed the marriage certificate after four months of dating. NOT COOL.
that is playing with fire and not really smart to do, especially if he believes in it too, for the fact that most girls(not women these days) that loose there virginity to a man, 85% of them DO NOT marry the one they lost there virginity to.
so depending on his beliefs, you may have just ruined that boys life, because if you do not intend to marry him and knew his beliefs in it, you gave him false hope, so when/if you move from each other you traumatized the boy, he will never really trust again.
A
female
reader, sara'93 +, writes (29 December 2010):
sara'93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, thanks! :) x
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 Don't worry about his parents, their beleifs are not his and yours therefore they really don't matter in the end concerning your happiness. Start by saying that you know his parents view and you just want to know why his view is different.
You shouldn't feel guilty, if his parents cared about him they would respect the decisions he makes in his life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): Why do they even need to know at this point? You are both above the age of consent, there is nothing his or your parents can legally do to stop you.
So long as you are doing so responsibly, using at least two forms of contraception to minimise the chances of pregnancy and STD's and ensuring that you are prepared to take care of a child should all your precautions fail (rare occurrence, but not unheard of)... I see no reason that you shouldn't explore this avenue of your biology and emotion.
Flynn 24
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