A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have recently started dating a boy i love very much. he's also one of my best friends and two years ago he used to date a friend of mine. their relationship ended peaceably and she's quite happy for us to date.we've been going out for a month now and everything is so perfect. he makes me very happy and i love spending time with him. i love kissing and making out with him, but he wants to take it a bit further, by putting his hand inside my clothes and up my skirt. he hasn't tried to pressure me into anything; just when we make out he tries to put his hand on the inside of my thigh or something and i usually get a bit embarrassed and he stops as soon as i feel uncomfortable. he's upset because he thinks i react like this because of something wrong to do with him, which isn't the case at all.it's just bothering me because i love him and i really fancy him so i don't see why i feel so awkward and shy when he does this. his last proper girlfriend (my friend) slept with him after three weeks which makes me feel like i'm a prude or a tease by comparison.
View related questions:
best friend, kissing, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, say_anything +, writes (3 May 2007):
 i felt exactly the same as you a few weeks ago. it's gonna sound really silly but the thing that helped me to overcome my shyness (after i'd realised i was totally ready to do this, which it sounds like you might not be) is closing my eyes because it eased my embarrassment. my boyfriend went really slowly and gently so i didn't feel like things were moving too fast - and it turns out i really enjoyed it, even the first time.
just relax and have faith in your boyfriend - you obviously love him for a reason :)
good luck kiddo.
xo
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 May 2007):
 Well, she slept with him after 3 weeks and look what happened to her... they split up! Do you want to end up in her situation?
If a guy really likes you then he'll be willing to wait for as long as you want him to. If he won't wait then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. And, the strange thing is, once a guy has waited a long time, he'll frequently think more highly of you, and more highly of your relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (3 May 2007):
 You cant compare yourself to anybody else. You are unique and will act how you feel most comfortable, Not by how someone else has.
You say hes not pressuring you so great, he sounds as though hes just trying his luck, most guys do... hes probably not expecting you to act like other girls do and dont judge yourself by others. If hes worth anything he will be patient and respect how slow you want to go.
Chill out you are your own person, you do what is right for you. If you feel that you have to sleep with someone to keep them thats not right. You shouldnt have to sleep with a guy just for his sake, your involved here too, you also matter and what you want is also important. Take it easy and relax and carry on as you are, pressure can only lead to regret.. your respecting yourself which is good. We all need to respect ourselves before we can respect others. Take it one step at a time, your boyfriend will realise how unique you are. Dont rush you have plenty of time, enjoy the fun times and dont put pressure on yourself... he isnt pressuring you hes probably just chancing his arm... if it makes you feel better chat this over with him, im sure he will understand if you tell him. he's just doing what most goes do testing the water hun, doesnt mean he thinks any less of you... relax take it easy and see how things go.
Take care xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): I'm in that exact situation right now!
I know what you mean, it's hard to NOT feel prude, or feel like he thinks you are.
I felt SO uncomfortable when my boyfriend started touching the first couple of times, yeah. But then I sort of talked to him a bit about it. He said he would never pressure me into anything I didn't want to do. Which was probably the greatest thing to hear. If the guy has slept with your other friend, maybe you could talk to her and ask her what he did with her, and see if he really means what he's saying or doing. I just wouldn't want to see you getting hurt over something like being shy about going to far with a guy. You should ALWAYS do what feels comfortable, force is never the answer.
...............................
|
