A
female
age
22-25,
SalemsWhispers
writes:Ok I Had this one friend in 6th grade and I had a crush on him. after 6th grade he moves away and I haven't heard about him since. Years pass and I join Myspace I enter his name and find him...it has been 11 years since 6th grade and we now keep in touch with one another...in fact I went to visit my home town during the summer which is California and he came to see me twice...we talk almost everyday...before I left to California he sent me a message saying that he would get me back into shape looking all sexy and stuff.....after I send him a few pics of me from my cell phone he says Youre pretty if we weren't friends I'd flirt......He has a girlfriend now...he called me up last weekend to tell me that he was having problems with her and that he might break it off he said he would call me back and he never did...Funny thing is that we never really talked on the phone except 3 or 4 times for a minute or 2..He calls me and we are on the phone for like about 45 minutes and than out of the clear blue he dumps his girlfriend problems on me. I told it will work out and he says otherwise....Well things are now good between him and her, but I annoyed him somehow cause of a message I sent him over some comment about me going to school...Well she left to London for 1 whole year to go to school and he will be without her for that long.....He is my friend and those feelings of crushing on him are back in my heart...I care about his happiness, but I truly feel like he could be the one to save me from myself and from my life, but I would not want to impose that on him....How can I find out if I have a chance with him without jeopardizing our friendship?
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female
reader, SalemsWhispers +, writes (26 September 2007):
SalemsWhispers is verified as being by the original poster of the question i don't believe he wants his way with me & also wait a year for his girlfriend....he is not that kind of guy...He's sweet, honest straight forward no kind of B*ll Sh*t kind of guy. He has never disrespected me in any sort of manner...Except when he says things like Or your pretty if we weren't friends I'd flirt or when You come down here I'm going to work you out & get you lookin all sexy again...it makes me wonder if he is trying to hint something to me...He tells me things like Call me no matter what or be safe......it feels so nice to hear things like that, but I think maybe I am reading to much into it. I care for him deeply & I am thankful for having him in my life, but like I said his happiness is more important to me & I will not jeopardize his relationship by telling him how I feel.......but what I want to know if the things he said where some kind of hint or what? Why out of the clear blue would he call me tell me that he is going to have a serious talk with his girlfriend? I mean I know we are friends & that is what friends do, but he's never called me for more than a minute & 2nd he's never really talked to me about his girl.......So I am confused. His exact words were" She thinks I am neglecting her, but it's my work I am busy all the time...She is bust too, but she is busy with her friends...so on my days off I call her up & see if she wants to go out & she gives me attitude....Being in a relationship is like an investment I am investing time, money, & in the future I want to have a family & children" I told him that things were going to be ok & that they will work out...He didn't sound so sure & said no I don't think so...He told me that he would call me the next day or the day after....he never called me back & I found out that things were ok about 5 days after we spoke cause I text him...I feel sad when him & I aren't talking, but I respect him & I am going to give him his space, besides he hasn't once tried to contact me...So I don't know I am confused can anyone give me some clarity?
A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (26 September 2007):
 You'll know when it's time. I want to thank you for your reply. I wish we could take what you'd said and transfer your beliefs to a whole bunch of other people. It's not too often someone says they are putting someone else's happiness before their own. I commend you for that.
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A
female
reader, SalemsWhispers +, writes (26 September 2007):
SalemsWhispers is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell he is not a player...He is a very serious person. He would not hurt her....but as for me. I really care about him & I feel that I love him, No I have not told him & no I am not going to tell him, cause I feel it's not right & I do not want to ruin our friendship......In fact I have not talk to him for about a week now, cause I don't want get hurt...his girlfriend left a few days ago & I know he needs me to get through it, but I am going to let time go by & see what happens...i care for him so much I am putting his happiness before mine. No he has not said that he wants me or nothing...he has had nothing but respect for me since the first day....but my question is..are those things he said just a friendly kind of flirt or is it possible that he might kind of like me? How is a girl suppose to know?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Hi i was just reading your message and what i can say is that you should forget him.He only say's that so that he can have his way with not that am trying to be rude,am just saying that he could be waiting for his girlfriend or he already has another one which he want's to keep on the side.This is only what i can see but i could be wrong there are others you could listen too.
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A
male
reader, abraham brown  +, writes (26 September 2007):
Hi i was just reading your message and what i can say is that you should forget him.He only say's that so that he can have his way with not that am trying to be rude,am just saying that he could be waiting for his girlfriend or he already has another one which he want's to keep on the side.This is only what i can see but i could be wrong there are others you could listen too.
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A
male
reader, rcn + ♥, writes (26 September 2007):
First it would be inappropriate for him to start something with you, before ending it with his girlfriend. You don't want to become the mistress. It's not fair, because there's one person who would be innocent and would end up getting hurt. I don't care how much you like someone, it is never OK to pursue when there is a third party who would end up getting hurt by your behavior. No one has the right to put that pain on someone else.
I'd wait to see what his intentions are with the person he's with now, before getting your hopes up. You don't want to end up being with someone who turns out to be just a player either.
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