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His flirting with girls is driving me to distraction. What can I say to him?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I don't know what to do.

My boyfriend is a very flirty/charming and talkative person, thus is how we got together two years ago. However he still does it, he still flirts with girls, winking at them in person and via message. He somehow feels like he always has to start conversations with a girl, I wouldn't have a problem with thus but it isn't just general chat sometimes.

Example conversation:

Girl: "you were just to scared to see me"

Boyfriend: "I am pretty girls scare me ;)"

Girl: "I knew it haha"

Boyfriend: "I just can't help myself"

He flirts without realising and sometimes it's as if he may as well be single. I cannot keep going over in my head about it as it is driving me insane and making me over think.

I need to have a chat with him but I don't know how to bring it up or how to go about it. I love him very much but don't know what to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015):

First-off, you have to be direct with your boyfriend about his flirting in-front of you. That is disrespectful and total disregard for your feelings. Demand respect; don't beg for it. As for texting other women, how would he like it if you messaged other fellas?

You're growing into womanhood and you must show you can handle yourself. Explain to him that if he wants you to continue being his girlfriend; he has to behave like he has one when around other girls. He CAN help himself being around other pretty girls; if he cares about you. He does realize he's flirting, because he's good at it!!!

If you're going to call a guy your boyfriend, you had better expect him to behave like he is. Winking and messaging isn't all he's doing. He's collecting numbers and lining up dates.

You're not just hanging out with him. You'd do better off just dating whomever you wanted to; instead of borrowing the title of being his girlfriend, while other girls get all his attention. Grow-up! You're not ready for dating if you don't know what to say when your guy is flirting with other females in-front of you. Don't ever be afraid to say something about it, if it upsets you or hurts your feelings. He's not doing you a favor letting you follow him around like his shadow. You're his equal, and he wouldn't like other guys hitting on you and you liking it.

You must let every guy you meet from this point forward know that you are a strong female, and you want to be treated with respect. If he doesn't feel he can control his flirting; suggest he take a walk. You're intelligent enough, and hot enough, to find someone who can.

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (7 July 2015):

Auntie E agony auntHow about good bye? He will never, I repeat NEVER stop this behavior.

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A female reader, Kendle United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2015):

Kendle agony auntExplain to him that you don't have a problem with him being friends with girls but the language he is using is disloyal and disrespectful to you. Ask him how he would like it if you went around telling guys they were hot and winking at them? It makes him look desperate and it's humiliating to you. If he insists in speaking to other girls that way then tell him to find another girlfriend. You have more self respect than to put up with that. He sounds a bit immature to be in a serious relationship to be honest. i really hope he doesn't end up hurting you. I'd be very wary.

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