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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello. I would really like it if someone could give me the most honest and down to earth answer you could possibly give me.I have recently come out of a relationship with a boy who i believe i fell deeply in love with. Before we got together we would text each other all through the night about our problems and we would help each other, but it wasn't always problems, we would just chat about everything and it was great. We finally got together and we had the best relationship i imagined possible. The only problem in our relationship was his fear of commitment, he had cheated on his ex girlfriend because he has certain 'problems' where he gets confused and is a manic depressive. He says he can't stop himself from what he does. He warned me that he is very problematic and confusing, but i told him i was prepared for what he might throw at me. Everything was going fine, we did everything together, not only was he my boyfriend but i thought of him as a best friend who i could tell anything to. Then 2 weeks ago, just out of the blue, he text me to say he thinks we should see other people, cool it off for a few weeks. I was heartbroken.After that text i said i would wait however long he needed, as he said he needed to sort some things out before he could be totally serious in the relationship, even though in my eyes we were very serious as it was. Anyway, a week later he had a go at me because some of my friends had yelled at him for hurting me, i told him it wasnt my fault and i didn't know they would yell at him. Every single day that goes by since i've not been with him i miss him more and more, i can't cope, i feel so depressed and frustrated i don't know where to put myself. I text him last night to ask whats going on and he says hes having trouble thinking because so many people are hassling him. Then after that we were texting all night again like we used to just acting like normal, and then suddenly the mood changed and i was upset because i missed him so much, and he was just apologising and saying the point of the break is so he can overcome his fear of commitment, but he said he doesn't know if he can or not. The point of my question is pretty much, do i try to move on? or wait around for him. I really don't know whats best for me, is he too problematic? Would i just be putting myself at risk of more and worse problems in the future if i wait for him? Or should i move on, at least try to move on?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007): I sympathize deeply with your dilemma but i have one question: if your bf knows this about himself how come he never sought professional help? I think you should encourage him to do so, not only to settle your relationship once and for all but because i sensed your deep care for him throughout your post, and believe me because i say this out of personal experience... if you're suffering from this confusion he'd be suffering a 100 fold
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