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His actions don't make any sense. Should I wait or move on?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 November 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *estineeMM writes:

Okay this may be a little long but bear with me please.

My ex boyfriend is 9 years older than I am. I am 21 he is 30. He has a pituitary tumor and low testosterone so he pretty much looks and acts 21. Anyways, it took us a long time to get together. We did fall for each other very quickly but my parents were resistant to the fact he was to old for me. I didnt care, i was in love.

We moved in together after 2 months and got our own place. He started getting testosterone shots and we were talking about getting married and having kids.This man rolled out the red carpet for me. He treated me like a queen, and I did the same for him. We dated for 2 years. Everything was perfect. We never fought, we did stuff together all the time, it was true love.

One night, we were sitting there with the family talking and everything was wonderful. He was pretty drunk. When we got home he talked on the phone with his cousin and all of a sudden decided he wanted to move to Massachusetts. We live in Florida. WHAT? what happened? Hes known to move around a lot, i dont believe he has lived in a place longer than 2 years. Before he left there were times where he would say he needs to go "make mends meet" and that a part of him still loves me. A couple times he said i still love you or maybe once i get settled in we can try again.

Well when he finally left i had not heard from him. One night i asked his sister to have him call me and he was so mean. He said he has no feelings and he is happy with his family. Well his sister has been texting me saying she has been talking to him about me and trying to tell him he needs to work it out. She never tells me what he said. Well on his birthday he called me and i also talked to his sister. She said he told her once to call me and tell me to come up there and she said i cant do that cause you know she would be here in a heartbeat. Well when me and him talked he was explaining to me about his apartment he is getting adn he was like maybe you can come up here. I was like you said im not allowed up there remember and he was like oh yeah. Then when he hung up he was like okay i love you. I didnt say it back. If i said it, yes i would of meant it, but im scared. He gave the phone back to his sister and shes like im working my magic kid dont worry about it.

Well i havent talked to him since. He doesnt answer my messages. This was a week ago. I text his sister and asked when im coming up there and she just said lol hes not ready yet. It seems to me that we can be together again but he seems happy. And it still hurts really bad, how can you just over night get up and leave? i know hes done it before but this was real. I was his longest relationship. im the only one he had his own place with and wasnt into any drugs or anything. Could it be the shots? Could it be that he still couldnt get me pregnant yet? Could it be him? That he just really cant stay in one state for so long? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE! im so in love with him i will wait forever and do anything for him. i dont wanna move on. people say oh maybe hes cheating or cheated but im pretty sure that isnt even a suggestion because someone would of told me and that is not like him. so if anyone had the time to read this and has any advice on what they would do anything will help!! thank you so much!

View related questions: cousin, drugs, drunk, I love you, move on, moved in, text

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A male reader, rivi United States +, writes (6 November 2010):

Well the sense it makes to me is that he has left you.

It's sad and all but that's what's happened.

If you got some great times out of it while it lasted well that's something.

But now accept that it's over; stop with the messaging and 'phone calls. You're plenty young enough to try other relationships.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (6 November 2010):

janniepeg agony auntIf it doesn't make sense to you it would make less sense to a stranger. The shots could affect his cognitive ability and concentration. He doesn't give you stability and the last thing you want is to be pregnant, taking care of the baby alone and wondering what he's doing. Men has a habit of hiding medical information. One thing possible is that he is going to a special doctor for a treatment in Massachusetts. You know, Boston, best hospitals and stuff. And that treatment can determine whether he can handle being a husband and a father or not. Just guessing.

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