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He wants to go clubbing with his single mate...why would he do this when he has a perfectly nice gf at home?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi i was just wondering what purpose is there for two guys wanting to go clubbing what can they do especially if one is single and the other isnt?

So really what can the the non single one do while the other is dancing and kissing maybe even more stuff with girls. just stand there?

And also why would a guy happily in a relationship want to go get absolutly drunk in a sleazy club when hes a perfectly nice girlfriend at home whats wrong with going for a game of pool with mates or going to the pub for a few then home.

Why clubbing where u dont know what you are doing theres loads of temptation and also what can a non signle person do while the other is dancing and doing things with girls?

View related questions: clubbing, drunk, kissing

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A female reader, TurqoiseEyedPrincesS United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2007):

Firstly if he cares for u and loves u, bla bla bla, etc he wont go off with anyone else at the club, just let him do his thing! If he cheats, lies etc, u know wot i mean then he aint worth it and he's a waste of space and u can defo do better...

BUT DONT be posessive or jeolous unless u want him to cheat, cuz ul only push him into another gals arms.. GOT IT!

U go wit ur mates he can go with his, If u trust him+love him, visa versa then all will be sweet. goodluck N xx

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A female reader, xxteganxx United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2007):

Thanks everyone i guess i just need to try n smile and get on with it and nicola thanks that helps thats a good idea i think im gna tell him how i feel because i do feel like things are changing less texts going out with friends that hes never even mentioned before that i didnt even know existed and we have been together two years. Im not usually a jelous person but this for some reason bothers me i just have a gut feeling somethings not right. Alot of things are changing and i just know somethings not right but ill have a talk with him n see if that helps anything xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007):

I don't know what's worse. My fiance goes to clubs by himself and he's in another state for a vacation for two months (not business)! He thinks I don't trust him when he goes out and I ask if he danced with any girls. He thinks dancing isn't cheating, but he claims he doesn't do it. I guess you have to trust, and like the one reader said, if he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat and it is going to be his loss!

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2007):

nicola79 agony auntDo you trust him? ask him why he chats women up and ask him how he would feel if it was doing this.

My heart really does go out to you, the only other thing to do is try playing it the other way and that is pretend to be happy and ok with him going out,do you live together? if so, i know this may sound bad but make love to him before he goes out,and just as he is leaving give him some money and say to him that you want to pay for there first round. By doing this if he was thinking of cheating,he will think twice. He will think that he has a great girlfriend and wont want to ruin the relationship.

Please keep me posted on how you feel about this advise. xxxxxxxxxxxx I will be thinking of you. xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007):

Why is clubbing always associated with getting drunk? I don't know which part of the world you're in, but not everyone gets drunk at clubs. Also, going clubbing with his friend and you being a nice girlfriend are TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT things.

That's like saying, "My bf likes to rock climb with his best mate. Why would he like to rock climb when he has a great gf at home?"

Understand that illogic?

Anyway, as Nicola had mentioned, since you are obviously suspicious, you can ask your bf if you can join him next time, etc, etc. Otherwise, talk to him, tell him how you feel, etc, etc, etc. May I stress and repeat for the zillionth time, "Open Communication".

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007):

hay hun, well i think u should give him the benifit of the dowt as he has not showed u hes cheeting...

my fella goes out with his single friends all the time and i know he chats to girls, but i trust him 100 per cent as i know he would do anything. what uve got to think of is if hes gonna cheet hes gonna do it and u cant control that but try not to worry bout it as much...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007):

thanks nicola its really upsetting i just dont see what he could possibly be doing while his friend is away with girls why wanna go to stand alone like a spare prick at a wedding.

Your advice was great only i tried that before but i hate it he disappeard for a while and i couldnt stand him flirting with girls when he thought i wasent looking. so i thought what i dont see wont hurt but it is hurting and i just dont know what to do

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2007):

nicola79 agony auntI would feel the same if I was in your shoes,I wouldnt be happy if my husband was going out with just one friend who was single.

Be trufull with him and say that you dont mind him going to the pub without you its just you dont want him going to a nightclub with one single friend,if he still wants to go,tell him that you are going aswell so if his mate pulls then your fella wont be alone? xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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