A
female
age
51-59,
*ah
writes:Hi, I have been seeing a man for 3 yrs now that has an ex wife of 20 yrs 3 grown children and we are all in our 40's since we starting seeing each other the ex wife in which whom divorced my partner 5 yrs ago has been battling against me for 2 1/2 yrs on "winning" (as she says it)him back she has threatned me, called me, verbally abused me and the list goes on I have spoken to her on several occasions about him and she tells me things like he's tring to get back with her he does'nt want to be with me he tells her he made a mistake etc. i confront him he tells me she's crazy, she tells me he's a liar,a user and many other very hateful and demeaning things alot about him and his past which he has already told me, it's now to the point were his ex had a family crisis and she made him feel really bad so he was there for her support in the mean time he ends up being with her over the time that this crisis was taking place they sleep together he tells me he's sorry "not" because it's not the 1st time he's back and forth between us he has not changed his address from our home nor gotten any of his belongings saying that he's staying with his mom which is semi true, but I know he's with her all to often , I know this sounds terrible but I really care for him and I'm not sure how to handle this anymore it's mentally and physically draing my emotions and i"m the one who looks and feels like a total fool.he tell's me he loves me and needs to get his life together, he then made the comment that he wants us both, how totally rude and mindblowing. i really need advice, from an outsider on this sick demented game i'm in.help
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female
reader, Psyche +, writes (20 February 2007):
Any time you date someone with kids, the ex is part of the package. There is NO way around it and you can never expect to be more important than his kids. I tend to stay away from people with a lot of baggage. The ex wife isn't going anywhere and will likely never become reasonable. Unless you all three agree to family counseling. It is really a question of whether you trust him or not. And if you can stand a lifetime of conflict with this ex. Honestly, your boyfriend sounds like an ass. He doesn't respect you or this other woman. It is NOT okay when a guy says he wants a threesome. 3-somes are for uncommitted people. I say, move out, move on, take TIME to do soul searching and be open to a lover who will treat you with love, respect and loyalty - not to mention little to no baggage. Good luck
A
female
reader, prodigy3t +, writes (20 February 2007):
The ex- wife is causing a lot of baggage issues. He apparently isn't ready to have a strong relationship with someone new. My advice to you is to save your own ass and move on. He could be lying and just playing the two of you like a fiddle, or he really could be having problems choosing. But seriously it's time to move on he has way to much baggage to be with some one other than his ex. Chances are that if you weren't in the picture they would've gotten back together. Don't put their marriage on your shoulders. looks to me like he's just a typical guy bragging about sleeping with two women. MOVE ON he isn't worth the pain or the time. You could find someone who treats you a hundred times better. If you dealt with his bull shit i'm sure you have alot of patience. Guys like that in girls patience. If you leave now, The game is over and you will have won by showing that you're stronger.
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