A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a guy for the last few months and we started having a sex just before Christmas. He is a really sweet guy and I get on with him so well. But there's a but. He's crap in bed, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, but its really bad. At first I thought maybe he was nervous cos it was a new girlfriend but not it seems thats just what hes like. He never does anything for me in bed - it's always me giving him oral, he never gives me oral. It's always me playing with him, never him playing with me. I like him but Im not at al lbeing sexuall satisfied - what can I do? :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): I went through the exact same thing your best bet would be telling him what you like. show him what turns you on and where you like to be touched.make it a game like simon says you be simon and make him do all the stuff he wont do and you want him to do. remember you are entitled to a great sex life just as much as any man.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): Looks like you are gonna have to work both of your ways through the Kama Sutra or The Joy of Sex.
I guarantee that will spice things up.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): hey girl! that stinks! you just have to be brave…and when you're starting to get into it, tell him what you want…he's not gonna know what's wrong unless you tell him…guys can't read your mind ya know…just tell him straight up…chances are, it will be a turn on for him…talking naughty…although, if he refuses…he selfish, unrealistic, and a jerk in bed! tell him if he keeps it up, then no more sex for him! sex is a privilege, not a right!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 My only suggestions are: 1) Very gently mention to him that you are not being pleased, perhaps with a subtle, "I wish I could have an orgasm too," or "Wow, it must be nice to get-off every time." Something like that. Many men simply do not know how to please a woman. It's not taught at school, at least not usually, and some don't even know that they are lousy lovers. Perhaps another way to pass the message is to tell a girlfriend whom you know will say something to one of his mates. This would also need to be subtle. If he hears from a friend that he is considered a dud, perhaps the "macho factor" will kick in. Most men would much prefer to be considered a great lover, but in your age group, few really are - they just "think" they are and they don't know any better. 2) Consider giving him some lovemaking material to read, such as "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner, "The Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex" by Sari Locker, or any number of other diatribes on the subject. There is also some written guidance covering various topics on this Web site, which can be searched atop each page by entering various search words including: pleasing women, orgasm, cunnilingus, clitoris, etc.
I realize that either of these suggestions could backfire and cause bad feelings if not handled very carefully, but it may wake him up - and even if it causes a breakup, you only have a "few months" invested. What do you really have to lose other than a future with sweet guy who has know idea he's a moron in the sack?
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