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He's suffocating me. Voicing threats against my friends. why does he begrudge the time I spend with male friends?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've now been dating a guy for 6 months.

We were friends before we dated and I liked him because he was funny and we used to go on nights out with our friends and have a really good time.

However since we've been dating he doesn't want to go out anymore, and when i go out when he doesn't want to come or i don't invite him he gets annoyed at me.

There is a two year age gap between us so i understand that he might not want to go out on nights out and stuff all the time, but if i want to then he shouldn't get annoyed at me for it.

When he does come out with our friendship group he usually sits there in a mood, which makes me feel guilty for having a good time.

We also have a mutual male friend who I sometimes go out for lunch with or go out somewhere with which he doesn't seem to like.

He says he trusts me, but I just don't understand why he's begrudging me spending time with one of my friends just because hes male.

One time when he came out with me and my best friend, we were dancing in a club and instead of enjoying himself he just stood there guarding me from other guys, which made me feel bad yet again for having a good time.

He's also made threats to beat up a guy who we're both friends with just because he stroked my leg one time.

I just feel suffocated, he wants it to be me and him all the time and he messages me 24/7 everyday, im just finding that he's getting more and more clingy, which being quite an independent person is quite irritating.

I just don't know what to do, im also going to university in a couple of months, im moving 4 hours away from him and i don't really know if i should carry it on.

Part of me feels like i should have a fresh start, but then the other part says that he hasn't done anything wrong and that its not his fault hes so clingy, it just shows how much he cares.

He seems to have changed from a person that i really liked, to someone who i don't even know anymore, his friends have also noticed that hes become grumpy and a bit boring as they've asked me if there's anything wrong with him, so i know that im not imagining it.

In the past i know he's had really clingy girlfriends, and im the opposite of that, so maybe hes finding it hard that i don't want to be with him 24/7.

View related questions: best friend, university

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2015):

I say get rid of him. I had a clingy boyfriend, broke up with him and I'm so much happier now that he's gone. I feel free. You should too. You might miss him for a while but trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (15 July 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntBeing clingy is not showing he cares. IT shows he's childish, insecure and immature.

a two year age gap does not make him old and decrepit and not want to go out and party, that's his personality.

you are seeing his true colors and they will just get brighter as the days go on.

I would not try to keep it going once you go to university since you will probably end up breaking up with him once you get there anyway. His insecurity will just intensify and his clingy will no longer be flattering or cute.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'm sorry 6 months into dating and he is THIS nutty?

First off, his CONTROLLING, MANIPULATIVE, CLINGY behavior is "not just" how he shows he cares. THAT is bullsh!t and the WORST excuse I have ever heard.

He is IMMATURE as well, and if you stay with this guy... IT WILL only get worse. For now he is trying to tell you whom you can see, next it will be what you can wear, who you talk to etc.

Personally, I'd go wit ha fresh start, the sooner the better. This fella? needs to grow up.

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