A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years on and off (since we were senios in high school). For the past year and a half, we have been together straight and we have been doing great. I recently found out that he still talks to one of his exgirlfriends. He was really in love with her back then (before we dated) but he messed up and she broke up with him. Then, when we originally started dating 4 years ago, he told me he still had feelings for her and so did she. She would always flirt him and made him think that he could still have a chance with her. So basically, I had a lot of bad moments knowing he still had feelings for her. He never broke up with me for her, but just knowing he still thought of her bothered me. But now, he tells me he is over her and does not even hang out with her. He had Christmas exodus (he is in the army)and returned to our hometown. I went into his email and saw that he had sent a picture of himself in uniform to her email. I didn't want him to know I went into his email so I asked him if he still talks to his exgirlfriends or if he saw anyone in our hometown. He replied that he ran into Tracy(his ex) and that they only talked for a minute. He said he didnt have a chance to get a number from her, but he forgot to mention that he got her email. He also says I have nothing to worry about because he says Im the only person he wants to be with now and forever. Tell me guys, am I overreacting??
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broke up, christmas, flirt, his ex Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Katlynhawk +, writes (19 June 2008):
This sounds so familier to me. I have been going through it too. My fiance and I have recently moved in together and now I just found out that the whole time we were dating he was sending his ex girlfriend very suggestive emails. I found out by accident he was having email issues and I was helping him figure it out and he signed in and I was sitting there in front of the monitor and clicked around and found all his sent emails and to my surprize most of them to to his ex. I did open some of them and they were all very suggestive and he was telling her he missed her and he has dreams about her. I am very confused and hurt, this is not looking good for him right now. He has not seen her since I moved in early 2008, but looking back at it now it explains his moodiness all of last year. You know that look when they look right through you. If you figure out what to do let me know because I am baffeled.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell it seems like he has not been communicating with her. He says I have nothing to worry about and the only reason he sent her that pic was because she didnt believe he wore an uniform. He says he doesnt talk to her because he knows it bother me. So thank you for all your answers! It helped alot!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 January 2008):
 A man and a woman look at issues in a different light. To a man ,this may appear harmless . She is just an ex and being on friendly terms.Sometimes they may even flirt with each other.A woman will not like the idea that he is talking to his ex or any other woman for that matter .Women are more selfish and possessive in nature.In this regard, he should respect the partner and not do those things in her presence or knowledge .Sometimes, you cannot avoid running into each other and pretend you don't know or ignore her. You need to be civil to each other.Before you judge him or condemn him , put yourself into his shoe and see the real actual situation in the reverse.What if your ex should speak to you and what would he feel about it?If talking to his ex is a problem to you , a man should stop doing it for the sake of your peace and serenity. Most of us should be matured and tolerate to a certain degree and not make a fuss about this issue unless you have reasons to believe that he is spending more time chatting with her than with you.Then that is a big problem.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John + ♥, writes (5 January 2008):
 I don't think you are over reacting.
If he had nothing to hide why is he not telling you about it up front?
That in itself sets out an air of deception.
It may be nothing but I would, at least for a little while, watch for other things he may be trying to get past you. If you see nothing then maybe the picture and e-mails were all in innocence.
I do hope it works out for the both of you. Doc
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