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He's so great that I'm coming across as over-enthusiastic

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *alu writes:

i was introduced to a this really nice guy who's a lot like me. he's like me as well in the way that he doesn't quite like overly peppy people or people who smile the whole time. unfortunately when we meet i can't help but smile because he seems far too good to be true and i think "i can't believe i was so lucky as to meet a guy like him" this makes me seem like an overly happy person who hasn't had a sad moment in their life and so not genuine. i also come across as over enthusiastic and i don't want to do that as i'l end up scaring him off

i want to know if there's anyway i can stop myself looking like a complete idiot in front of him. and stop being quite so enthusiastic about nothing. i want to be able to calm myself down as i'm usually quite sombre.

any advice would be much appreciated.

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A female reader, halu United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2010):

halu is verified as being by the original poster of the question

halu agony auntthanks for all the help. i've never felt like this about anyone before so this is completely new territory for me. i'm aware of some of his flaws (he never thinks he's good enough and he self harms) and chances are he'll have many more, but i look past those flaws, he's only human after all. and i know what i'm doing for my career and not one person will get in the way of that. i've told myself that since i decided thats what i want to do with my life, if something comes of this then he'll have to respect my desision and i'll respect his.

i'm hopefully meeting him today, though i doubt it given the time. (it's about 12 and buses stop at 4) so all your advice will come in handy

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (1 May 2010):

C. Grant agony auntIf he hears that you think he's the best thing to have happened to you in forever, you're giving him a compliment that will make his day (and then some). The 'high' that comes with a new relationship isn't the fake thing that you both dislike -- it's a genuine thrill that can't help spilling over. Enjoy it.

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A female reader, goowes United States +, writes (1 May 2010):

goowes agony auntSmiles are one of the few things that naturally stimulates endorphins and dopamine in our brains, this will make your life better. Hang around him more big smiles are very beautiful and it will make him feel good too. Don't be afraid to look like an idiot, that can be humorous too laugh at yourself and enjoy the happiness, like picking a flour. No judging yourself or others life is already so hard don't make it worse. If you anoyyed by others just don't look at them or ridicule them behind backs makes you diminished. Smiles are for everyone!!

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A female reader, SeaCalm United States +, writes (1 May 2010):

Hi 'Enthusiastic'...first of all I would take a little time to remember that although you like this guy you really don't know him yet, tyr not to spend too much time thinking of how great he is and remembering that you are great too...with a life and pursuits of your own..keep track of those and if he is as keen on you as you are on him, then he will approach you, ask you out and want to get to know you better. Remember that no-one is perfect and everyone has their flaws before you bowl in there and lay your heart on the table

Good Luck

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A female reader, Zzona72 United States +, writes (1 May 2010):

Ahhh. Young love. I think know the feeling you describe. You are so happy inside you simply cannot keep it in! Perhaps you could channel some of that enthusiasim toward a shared activity such as running together or volunteer work you both feel strongly about. Also confiding in a good friend or family member may help. Getting your feeling heard by someone may help you find your eqilibrium however be mindful to not make your relationship with this guy your only topic of conversation with the other person they may mistake it for gloating. Write your happiness in a journel. Express yourself to your satisfaction and you should be able to keep your cool around him. Remember too that he will like knowing he makes you happy- within reason. Enjoy the romance!!

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A female reader, silentrose333 United States +, writes (1 May 2010):

silentrose333 agony auntWell, remember that guys don't like girls who are constantly misers, or always pessimistic. When you want to come as happy, but not too thrilled, just don't focus completely on him. Don't set you're mind on every word that will come out of your mouth. Talk to him as if he were just another fish in the sea of millions. When I talk to guys that i like, my face reddens up, and what i do to fix it is just not set my mind directly on him. But, don't look away or turn your head because he'll think you don't care about what he's saying. Also, it makes the guy feel confident and special when he hears that a girl likes him. It might even give him the courage to ask you out! Remember though, this was just a suggestion. You are free to choose how you would like to handle this! :)

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