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female
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Jay-c
writes: i've just been with my new partner now for just over a month and have slept with him twice.He mentioned he has had a long term g/f before me and thats it.When we have sex he seems to last literally seconds when it starts to get better he finishes? why is he cumming so soon? He's older than me but seems so inexperienced do you think he is a virgin? how do i make sex last longer? Because of this im dry as i no it wont last longand so dot get turned on i feel dissapointed after sex.Its never been like this?I really like him but hes so diff from my usual he doesnt mind if guys chat me up in a club he just turns round, and he seems SO laid back and doesnt show his emotions but when i ask him he says he REALLY likes me and i can see its true but i dont feel any affection... im still drawn to himHELP!!!
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (17 December 2007):
It's not really about the age but the person.Just because he's some good years younger than you don't mean he'll give you better sex.This really reminds of the never ending debate as to why girls/ladies/women rarely date guys younger than them.
You reall need to communicate with him and help him find a solution and also try not to rush the sex but have plenty of foreplay,even an hour.As for when both of you are out in da club it seem there's a lack comfort between you two.When i'm with my girl there's a certain comfort that exists and i would dare any guy to interrupt that cosiness.Be more affectionate.He might be stressing over his bedroom problem.
Good luck
A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 I can see you like this guy but you seem to lack real chemistry with him, you don't understand his laid back attitude...and it also looks like you're playing with him because you spend time talking to other guys when you should be with him at the club. That personally wouldn’t sit well with me, going on a date with a girl who's chatting up with other guys. If he tells you he doesn't mind he's just trying to be nice. Maybe you're not ready for a real commitment type relation with him but when you behave too friendly with other guys while you are on a date that is at the very least rude. So just a word of advice....pay attention to your guy while you’re on a date. If you're saying he bores you, than maybe you shouldn't be dating him!
As far as the sex...maybe he was a virgin, maybe not. But it’s also fairly obvious you and he are on a different playing field. You need a guy who will last more than a few seconds, and he's already proven he's not the one. And on the other hand he needs a woman who will be patient with him and not be disappointed if he comes too soon. You don't sound like you have the patience for him.
So what can I say...you don't sound like you are right for each other?
But if you REALLY want to work this out you have a little work on your hands. First, be very patient with him. When you have sex, have plenty of time to have lots of foreplay. Ease into it more slowly than normal. He is probably not used to coming more than once....so after he comes once its flat city. SO get him back on the horse, get down and dirty with him and get him aroused again. He probably thinks he can’t do it, but that’s where you can help prop him back up...and you'll see when he gets in there the second time it will last longer... So I’m just cluing you in here…you should know what to do.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 In my experience, sex with a new partner is always rather TOO exciting at first. I suggest you tell / show him what foreplay is all about so that you're both ready for it. It's quite possible this will get him a bit too excited and he may have a small squirt, but keep at it and he'll be better and last longer during round 2.
Don't make a big deal out of it though, because if he gets anxious he's likely to lose his erection at the thought of not coming up to scratch.
Phil
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