A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi Well i have a dilemma there's this guy and we always have a little flirt and there's a lot of chemistry between us when we talk. However it's a forbidden love thing, we're not allowed to be together and he's also considerably older than me, in 17. Im getting vibes that he likes me and i like him-a lot but lately he's been really off with me, like avoiding me, leaving the room early and im really troubled- i know i haven't done anything lately to upset him, things ahve been the same a s usual- but i had a thought and it's the only explanation i can think of- is he avoiding me because he's trying to resist temptation because of the forbidden thing? or has he just gone off me?? I've also been dressing more feminine lately and making more effort in my appearance so maybe this is making the temptation harder to resist??? he's a decent moral guy and he's never made any advances on me before-but i catch him eyeing me up and he always treats me with genuine respect. i dont know what to do i can't get him out of my head and i don't know where i stand, pleeease help i will value any suggestions, do you guys think it's because of the forbidden thing??? xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): This is disgustingly hypocritical of me to say, but I think he's too old for you. Are you sure he's even single?
There are laws against relationships like the type you want to have for a reason.
If you really like him as much as you say, and he also seems to be interested, then wait until you're of age and ask him out. But please only do so if he's single.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Hey,
Tbh I think you are right and he is resisting temptation, if he liked you in the first place he isnt really going to just "go off" you.
Is he one of your teachers at school, or someone from work?
Or just someone you've been seeing?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere have been times when im thinking about him and i just suddenly have this mad impulse to do go for him, screw everything else at these times nothing does matter except the fact im not with him
-but then i remember all the complications of reality he's over 40
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Hi, why will you feel embarassed to tell others the age gap. If you trully love him, it is would not be a problem and there is no ground for embarassment. I used to love a man nearly 30 years older than me. But I never hid his age as the intense feeling made me forget anything else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys. id just like to thank everyone for your answers as this stuff has given me so much insight and helped me more than i can say :):) i had a gut feeling that the only possible reason he would avoid me if he has feelings is to restrain himself! it makes more sense that other people share this view because it makes me realise it's not in my head. ill be honest you guys deserve the truth lol! yes he has a girlfriend and is not married and is wayyyyyyy older than me im talking a serious age gap i cant even bring myself to say. because of this, it may just be a huge mistake and also he has a girlfriend. i just wanted to get some insight and reassurance and you guys have given me that. Thanks so much :):)
and you're all so nice! ah man i just wanna be with him lol :( xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Hey - 2 questions please1. how much older is he then you?2. is he a teacher?Either way, i believe you can fall for anyone at any age but i think it would be more clear if you answered those questions!
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A
female
reader, sweet_lover101 +, writes (2 May 2008):
 is it one of ur teachers? it doesnt really matter coz love is love... it doesnt matter if da age level is differnt...
hes maybe avoidin u coz he might kno's how u feel? have u told anyone? mayb a rumor has been started?. its pretty normal to have dis but its jus hard to control! i kno wot it feels like! private message me if u ahve somethin to tell me! ok?
xxxx
gd luk!
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 Yes, it is really hard when there is chemistry . If you feel he is attracted to you then he probably is and the reason is is avoiding you is the fact that is doing everything he can not to cross the boundaries when this is not allowed.
If you catch him eyeing you up then without a doubt he fancies you and is trying to distract himself/separate himself as much as possible.
As to what you can do to get him out of you head, sweety this is a hard one, when you like someone, you like someone. Is it possible that you can just be friends?maybe when your a bit older and you still feel the same you can think about a relationship, I am sure he does respect you as you say, but if its ment to be, it will happen for you some other time in the future, not now. Try to keep yourself busy, try not to be around him to much if this is possible, i am not sure if it is the forbidden thing or not, could be sweety or it may not be, how well do you know him?
All I will say to you now is, take your time, there is no rush, if you are ment to be with this guy it will happen in the long term future, when you are older.
I hope this help a bit, take you time, enjoy-
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A
male
reader, bazookabob +, writes (2 May 2008):
 yep its definitely possible that he likes you, its not all that uncommon. How much older is he than you? And is it forbidden simply because of the age, or is there any other reason why you can't be together? I would say not to get too worried about it and just try being his friend for the time being- with any luck he'll stop being as distant as it seems he has become lately. Best of luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Maybe you're being too negative here. You could just try sitting him down and asking him what's going on. It's the easiest way to stop yourself from worrying so much.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 He could be experiencing an attraction to you and making a decision, being the moral guy he is, to not put himself in a situation to be tempted. He is probably very well aware of how you feel about him and most likely, doesn't want to lead you on and may feel like you think it can go further when it can't. You may have been too obvious about dressing up and your attempts at flirting. I'm sure he respects you as a person and certainly wouldn't want to embarrass you and hurt your feelings so he is setting a boundary. You know where you stand by his actions, he is moving further away from you rather than closer to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): Well- I was your age once and had many flirtations w/ older men. It's no secret older men are attracted to younger women... not always for the right reasons though- and this is a precaution. Is he much older then you? Is he single? If he's married, and you care for him he way you say you do- don't persue him. This could ruin his life. If he is single- then I'd say hold off the firtations until you are of age and then maybe- ask him out for a cup of coffee! GL
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