A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I just wanted to hear others opinion about this scenario. I'm single mom, professional and attractive as others say. I am not dating and not interested in dating even after 3 years of my divorce. I always get attention and I don't care about but this guy behavior is bothering me. He is a sales man and I met him when I was looking for a car, he is from another country but the culture is close to mine. So he said he wants to help me find a good deal. I knew he is married and we had spoken few times about the business and also his problem with his wife. He invited me for a coffee to go over few deals with me. I didn't know the plan but he asked me for a walk after that and I didn't read anything to that so I went. He confessed that he is attracted to me and can't stop thinking about me from the day he met me. I said first of all I am not interested to date anyone and second of all you are married ,are you kidding me? He said his wife is not living with him for few months and they are seperated. I said you are still married and it doesn't matter and my advise is to work on your marriage, I have gone through the pain of divorce and won't suggest it to anyone . Today I got the car from him and before he offered to help me with few stuff like registration. I asked him if he can do it and he offered to help but I felt he is not 100% willing so I forgot about it and said I will do it myself. His skin is tanned and I noticed the ring mark around his finger is lighter which means he is wearing a ring but not today maybe!? He started to talk that he wants to try one more time just for his kid and may ask her to come back. I encouraged him to do it and he told me that he likes me to get to know his wife and family if she comes back and they sort out the problems as he has found me a very good person. I left and text him thanking him for his time and he hasn't responded back yet. He was responding almost immediately before and it was all about the business. I kind of feel bad and wondering why he acted like that? was he testing me or was he seeing me just as a potential customer or was he trying to get into my pants? Or both lol. What do you think?
View related questions:
divorce, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): You must find this married guy attractive and that's why you're here questioning his motives and seeing whether anyone will tell you he us angling to get into your pants.You like the ego boost, don't you? It's pretty flattering, isn't it?But why does it even matter if you are not interested in him? Or any other man for that matter?You have needs too. Sexual included. And there's no need for you to put your life on hold for your son. You can still date and never bring anyone home to your son. It can all be casual and fun and light and not serious. Not all relationships need to be serious. Especially at the stage you're at. If you are becoming so sexually frustrated that your self imposed exile from men is tweaking your interest in a married man, then I would advise you to start dating a single and available man and scratch that itch before it leads you down the wrong path.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): I'm the OP- I don't know why you think I'm still married, I'm not. I have my own place and the reason that I'm not dating is because of my kid. I have lots of opportunities but I don't want anyone gets involved with my kid's life until he is on his own. Am I sexually frustrated ? Yes. Is is easier to have a parnter and not be alone? Is it hard to turn down many single professional guys who wants to date? Yes it is but my son comes first. I'm not even talking anout this married guy. Thanks for all your advises.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (2 September 2016):
 All sounds very strange. I bet you he will NOT introduce you to his family though, ha ha.
I suspect he is very much married still (as do you, I think). The wife is probably very much still in the picture and the "living apart" story was to try to get you to get involved with him.
Well done for having such strong morals and telling him he should be working on his marriage. In your place, I would now block his number and not have any more communication with him. The reason he did all this is irrelevant. If you had got involved with him, could you have trusted him at all? I know I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016): I'm the OP- Thank you for your advises. Actually he sent me a message today and asked me to let him know how I made out with registration.I told him that I'm all set even thought I'm not. I think he tried on me and when it didn't work out he changed his story because first when I suggested that he can try counseling and work on his marriage he said no way and he is done and it won't work and lots of excuses. Even I mentioned his kid and he said no they are arguing all the time and it's not good for his daughter . All of the sudden the very next day his story changed and he is telling what exactly I told him! that I have a kid and I want to try for my kid which I'm glad even though I don't buy his story. Just its strange that he wanted me to meet his wife! I won't go any ways. He may wants to keep me around until the opportunity comes. He did try once , he invited me for a coffee and when I arrived at the coffee shop he said insted of coffee let's go for a drink and I declined and told him I do not drink alcohol. Just wanted to hear others openion to make sure I'm not to pessimistic. Thank you so much.
...............................
A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (1 September 2016):
 If I was a married guy seeking to cheat, you fit the profile perfectly: single mom, no man and hasn't been with one in a while which to a cheating guy translates as vulnerable, free and very horny. Cheater is interested in the "very horny" part and the fact that are unattached makes it easy to get to you, hence his flirting.
So his motivation is sex, and to cheat on his wife. The sequence of thoughts maybe different in his mind, but generally, cheaters look at women not as a human they want to love but a woman they hope to bang with no strings attached. You just happened to come along with a profile.
Your best thing is to go no contact and no contact as to why there is no contact. Just move on with your life, erasing this episode.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (1 September 2016):
 My guess? This is his "spiel" his "MO" with women he finds attractive AND slightly vulnerable.
He is hoping by pretending to go the extra mile the woman will return the favor. So yes, he WAS hoping to get in your pants.
WHO cares about his problems with his wife? He is NOT a friend or a close relative. The issues with his wife are HIS issues, not yours and they really don't make a fig of a difference.
Get the registration done by yourself, it isn't hard and then cut off the contact.
Personally? I'd never a buy a car from a guy who is so "liberal" with the truth.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (1 September 2016):
 Thoroughly unprofessional. Please stay away from this guy and don't everyday entertain any talks of a personal nature. A married man, if he isn't honest to his wife, can be honest to no one. Nothing even remotely positive comes to mind about the way you've described this guy. Write him off like a bad dream.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (1 September 2016):
 well I hardly think he was all about giving good customer service, if anything trying to crack on to a customer, especially in the way he did,
cheesy and totally unprofessional. Nope he was putting the feelers out and magically all his problems with the old wifey went away went you knocked back his advances.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2016): Why do you care that he hasn't texted you back? Why does it make you feel bad? Why are you so concerned about what he was really after? He was likely hitting on you and it seems as if you may have liked the attention he was giving you.
Forget him. He is married and not worth your time, attention or concern. Also, it strikes me as kind of weird he would want to introduce you to his family. This guy sounds like trouble.
...............................
|
