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He's ignoring me and he says he doesn't feel the same way, anymore. What can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2006) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 October 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

hey, ive been seeing my boyfriend for 3 years, and hes been great until recently, over the past few months, he's been wanting to see me less and less, so he can spend time with his friends (girls and boys) this week i only really saw him 2 days. we had a conversation about a month ago and he said he wasnt sure how he felt about me anymore, he said he sees me like a best friend but is not sure if he loves me anymore, i accepted that, but now i feel like he doesn't care about me at all, the attitude he has towards me has changed. i want 2 talk to him but i don't know how anymore, im scared if we talk the relationship will be over. what can i do? please help

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

update on this situation is we've had a talk about what we want from this relationship, we did talk about splitting up but we are giving it another shot but just taking it day by day. thanks for all ur advice anyways xx

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A female reader, lovett_23 +, writes (30 September 2006):

I have been there and done that. You do have to accept the fact that he does not see you as a girlfriend anymore, but you can't expect him to just be your best friend. There are things that he can do with his other friends that he can't do with you simply because the two of you have had a relationship together. Give it time. Hang out with your friends and do things that won't make you think about him as much. I know it is hard and you feel like you are going to die, but you will survive and just know that you are not the only one who goes through this and you won't be the last.

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A female reader, Keeley +, writes (30 September 2006):

Keeley agony auntThis must be an annoying time for you, I just wished that people would stop hiding from thr truth and stopleading people on. If he was any type of man then he would tell you the truth and stop being silly.

Dont beat yourself up over this it is hard I know but chin up and face the world as you once did.

Been there too and know what your going through.

Take care

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A female reader, Toria +, writes (30 September 2006):

Toria agony auntI've always believed better to have the talk and know where you stand than to continue to hurt by this behaviour, if he still states he doesn't know how he feels and is unsure whether he still loves you then it might be a good idea to walk away and give him some space, if he loves you he will realise this and come back if he doesn't then better to know now.

Good luck :o)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2006):

all u can do is tell him how u feel, but if it is not to be let it go and get on with our life, its to short to dwell on what might have been, just have fun, love willl find you

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A female reader, DynaMo +, writes (29 September 2006):

DynaMo agony auntI had a similar problem to you and am going to forward a response I got from somebody else on a different website that I think is the best response I could have had! Hope it makes you smile and improves your confidence as much as it did mine :-)

***********

What a ponce this guy is!! Any guy who will tell you something so hurtful as "you love me more than I love you...what if I want to leave in 2 or 5 or 10 years...I'm worried that if you left me I wouldn't be that bothered.." is effectively setting the scene for a guilt-free dash out the door the nanosecond he figures out whatever it is he wants (which apparently isn't adorable, foxy, loveable, sex-on-legs you), and is not, to quote E. Jean, worth the cut-outs in your peek-a-boo bra.

Come on now, you're a prize! If this man received notice that he'd won the lottery, do you think he'd stand there arguing, "well...I'm not sure I really want it like I should. P'raps you had better give my winnings to some deserving war orphan," Huh? Bah! I think not.

So he's 99.9% certain that he loves you, eh? Well, I'm 100% certain he's an ass. You don't need the internet to figure out whether he loves you. Quick test: does he make you feel loved? No? Next!!!

I say, it would serve Mr. Analysis Paralysis right if you told him to just 3F: eff off, figure it out, and find his way back. Maybe you'll be there, and maybe you'll be on your honeymoon in Fiji with your fabulous new husband who worships the ground you walk on.

Hugs to you, whatever you decide.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2006):

It's better to communicate openly and risk breaking up than hang in there and get hurt continuously without knowing what the end will look like.

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