A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My relationship of almost 2 years broke up only a few days ago, and naturally I'm heartbroken. I dont consider how he ended it really closure for me, I want to talk to him alone, but our friends told him not to contact me, so when I IM him online, he of course didnt respond. He's getting over me by pretending like we never existed, he was already over me apparently by the same night, probably already has another girlfriend right now, but that doesn't bother me, the fact that I meant so little to him after 2 years is saddening. I want us both to get through the break up steps, and not just pretend we never went out or loved each other, I'm pretty sure thats unhealthy, advice please? =(
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male
reader, NuVu +, writes (17 July 2007):
There are only 2 steps when breaking up. The breakup and somehow managing the emotional upheaval that comes with it. Its very rare that anybody gets satisfatory closure when ending a relationship. Time is what provides the closure.
The best thing you can do now is to start living well. There is nothing that drive an exboyfriend more crazy than seeing his former love being happy, healthy and moving on with her life without him. Believe me i've known many guys who broke up with their longtime girlfriend and were later on emotional wrecks with regret. Of course i'm not suggesting that you purposely make an emotional wreck out of your ex... Its just that moving on and living well is the best thing for you. Believe me he will always remember your relationship... 2 years is a significant time at your age. Just because he wants to move on doesn't mean your relationship was insignificant. I can guaruntee he will remember your relationship, 10, 30, 50 years from now, and so will you.
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
I know this is very hard for you to deal with but he doesn't want to talk to you right now, maybe he needs his space, time to think etc....
Your just hurting yourself babes keeping in contact with and hoping that he will listen to you when he clearly isn't ready yet....
Send him one last e-mail saying your sorry that it had to end in such a bad way that he feels he can't even be friends and talk to you and please hun leave it at that.....
You need to start thinking of your feelings and what you now want from life, go out with some friends kepp busy and have some fun to take your mind off it, you desreve to give yourself that babes don't you.....
Hope you get that inner strength babes,
Take care Love Donna xx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 I very much understand your situation, but it would take two to go through the steps you need, and I'm afraid you won't be given that option.
I have the same feeling you do. Maybe he has someone else already and just doesn't have the time for you or your needs.
My heartfelt advice is that you move on, in the circumstances you have to.
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