A
female
 ,
asho320
writes:I'm 19 going out with my 21 year old boyfrend for last 3 months he says he loves me to bits he has said this to me about 10 times so far!!! but i cant say it back i think its too soon to say it so what do i say when he says it again????? normally i just change the subject but its weird coz i dont love him back i just like him so what shud i do??? He says he wants to be with me forever and I think I am too young to settle down. I want to see the world, travel, date lots of guys (not at the same time!!) like he wants to buy a house and he wants me move in with him but its too soon!!! What will I do??? He says I'd make a brilliant mother!! and i'm like oh my god... too soon!!!! its weird!! I dont wanna dump him, hes too nice, kind, lovely, honest and always there for me!!! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): He sounds to be totally in love with you but i agree this is all too soon. Just sit him down and have a chat with him and point out all these things that you have told us. Let him know that you think it is too soon. You want the pace to go a bit slower. Tell him that you feel very deeply for him but you are not completely in love with him as yet. He sounds to be a quite emotional person so you may have to be prepared for his answers.
Take care and keep in touch.
xx
A
female
reader, AskEve  + ♥, writes (27 March 2007):
 He is obviously totally smitten with you. How old are you both? He sounds very sensitive so you need to be careful that you don't hurt his feelings but you DO need to tell him to slow down a bit. Sit down with him one night when you are alone with no interruptions. Take his hand and tell him you really like him but he's moving way to fast. Let him know you don't want to break up with him, this will reassure him (tell him that first), but he is scaring you, talking about motherhood and marriage so soon in your relationship. Tell him you want to just enjoy being with him for now and see what develops so no more talk of marriage and motherhood so early on.
I'm sure if you have this talk with him he'll respect how you're feeling and calm down a bit. If he says he loves you then fine. Next time he says it laugh and tell him he can't possibly love you so early on in the relationship. Tell him he loves the person you ARE but he's not IN love with you, he just thinks he is. Don't tell him you love him if you don't and if he asks you if you do then say you have never experienced what it's like to be in love, you like him yes but love takes time to grow and it's way too soon for you to even think that way.
Eve
...............................
A
male
reader, DreamMaster +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Hi,
i think this relationship is limited,
When the guy falls for a girl like this, it shows a certain amount of desperation, and i dont think girls react positively to this in the long run,
You will very soon grow tired of his smothering you, and you will eventually finish it when you ask for space and he clings to you some more,
When he sees you pulling away - he will cling even more - thinking that his neediness will save him - but it wont - it will have the opposite effect.
I give it another 6 months - no more,
Enjoy it while it lasts, and go easy on him when you break it off - just tell him he was a nice guy, but as you say, you are too young to settle down
...............................
|
