A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this might sound silly.but the fact that my boyfriend of two years who loves me and is great in many ways,does not call me sweet names anymore at all...whereas i call mother him so much :( its only the first 8 or 9 months he used to be more caring and sweet. even now he is,but not in while communicatingi understand that love doesn't has to be expressed in words all the time but i just feel hurt from time to time that he never says such things anymore ,we just call each other honey and thats what he uses when he's trying to be nice.sometimes i feel internally jealous and hurt :( he's nice with women and talks in a healthily flirtatious manner to all girls. i want him to be something extra and more to me but its the otherway round..he now talks plain most of the time with "honey" once in like 10 timeswe've been through many issues,but always come out fine back to normal.is it the little fights/tiffs which changed his behavior?he knows i want him to be more romantic,but he says we girls are influenced by movies and fairytales!i don't think thats true :/ i would expect all this even if i hadn't been exposed to fantasy!as a lover,he is committed faithful,plans to marry me and everything's great ...but i feel this anger inside of me sometimes and even compare him to other bfs of my friends (i know thats wrong) i feel that if i mellow down with the love i shower on him ,he comes around and puts in more efforts.however..i am never able to contain myself and always end up being more loving .i know love shouldn't be like a game.and i also know that its my problem since i'm being attention seeking and rather impatient ..!!just want to know how to manage my relationship better and a better insight into my problem.please do not ask me to leave him.as everytime there is a with a grievance most aunts give the solution of leaving the man,and i don't believe thats the solution for every problem .every man will have his flaws!
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (4 February 2012):
 Nope I don't believe in telling everyone to walk away, it depends on the situation. And no you're not silly for feeling hurt because you don't get sweet words no more. Yes he is wrong about romance only being in the movies, if you want romance in your life then you work hard and create it.Yes it's the fights, and the demands, and the attention seeking and the impatience and the comparing you nice-sounding, caring guy to others. It's the being angry and resentful for having only a 98% perfect relationship and wanting to destroy it because you want 110%. That can get very tiring on a man.. because no matter what he does you'll always want more, more, more. Love sometimes means giving and not getting back in return, or getting back in a different way.You compare him with your friends... but you just said so many nice things about him.. I bet many of your friends aren't half as lucky as you are. But that's not enough, you want more. No guy likes to be compared to others, and that's why he's saying you want your life to be movie like, perfect and fantasy like.How do you get the sweet words. Well my mum told me long ago to give out love to people who don't know how to show love. You say the sweet words, you give the love, you make him feel special, work on some of your personality problems, make the relationship the best that it can be. You make him think that you are wonderful, make his heart glad, make him think about you all the time.Make the guy happy, and don't think about what your getting back. With enough kissing, loving and sweet talk from you, eventually he won't be able to help himself from giving back and talking sweet all the time.Worked for me for 18years, and longer cause it didn't even stop when we finished. Worked on me dad, but took 35years. Worked on a me ex's family who didn't know how to show love, now they is all huggie, huggie and kissey kissey everytime they get together.Sometimes for men, love means actions not words. You know you love him, you know he loves you, you want them sweet words back, then you better work hard to earn them.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (3 February 2012):
 Try taking your own advice - every man has his flaws, and your partner's flaw is that he is not very romantic. In fact not many men are!
You cannot try and change him, he is who he is - so you have to accept him, flaws and all.
This man clearly loves you, wants to have a future with you, is faithful.....he is doing abosolutely nothing wrong yet you are still complaining. Be grateful for what you do have and stop wishing you have something you dont have - we all want what we dont have, and that is a flaw within the human race. Your flaw is that you try and change your partners rather than accepting who they are.
Words are empty - it is how he treats you that is important. If he makes you happy and treats you well then that is all that matters, not some silly words that anyone can say and not mean.
Set your prioities straight and realise how lucky you are to have a great man, you see so many women on here who are hurting from unfaithful, cheating, lying, abusive men. Yet you have a man who is faithful and wants a future with you - you are very lucky, you just need to wake up and realise what you already have. Stop wishing your partner is something he's not - he is not the soppy romantic type, so accept that. If you love him then you will accept it rather than trying to change him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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