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He's gay but may be bi. Would hinting at my romantic feelings I have for him feel too weird to him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 October 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2012)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone

I thank you in advance for hearing my story and helping me out.

I have a best friend i'm really into.

He's gay but i think he's been having romantic thing with women.I gather this from things that he says. Anyway, I can't seem to stop thinking of him in a romantic way, but i'm too afraid to do anything in case it ruins things or makes them awkward.

He does sometimes flirt with me,but there have also been a few things he's said/done that have left me feeling a bit sad.

For instance, once i wanted to stay over at his home but he said that would be 'awkward.' Once when i drove to his home to visit, we ended up chatting in the bedroom because he was showing me something cool he bought and i sat on the bed.

He later hinted at me that he doesn't like people in his personal space.

So i'm left a bit confused as to whether doing something or saying something and hinting at the romantic feelings i have could leave things being weird between us.. if you could pls give me some input,i'd really apreciate an outsiders view.

Thanks so much

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (20 October 2012):

janniepeg agony auntHe can be emotionally attracted to women while sexually attracted to men. He can also be conflicted himself. If you hint romantic feelings for him he will say to you all he could offer you is companionship and friendship because sexually he has none for you. You will always want more and hope he feels attraction for women. He likes to be women because he feels safe with them, but until they want something more that he can't give. He's only capable of the superficial and he seems to want to keep a distance from you. If you can't hold yourself back that's okay too. He needs to learn that flirting women can cause them to fall in love, therefore awkwardness later, maybe that can make him focus on men more. He should not be going back and forth between men and women. Even if he is bisexual he should make up his own mind and stick to one person only.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012):

Honey, let it go. Find yourself a straight man. I am best friends with a gay man, and trust me, it's not something that can be changed or ever will. There is absolutely no point in loving someone who physically, mentally and emotionally can't feel the same way as you. He wants men, just as you do. Don't hurt yourself any further by loving someone who just wasn't wired to love you back. There are so many men and you will find one.

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