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He's gay, but his dad doesn't know and has banned me from staying because he thinks there is something going on!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *orch writes:

hi,

my friend is gay(lets call him alex) and he is going out with a guy that lives quite far away and every few weeks he's boyfriend (lets call him danny)comes to stay with him, anyway when danny comes to stay i usually go to stay round alex's because me and danny are really good friends, when i stayed there last time danny ran up to me and gave me a hug and then alex's dad (who doesn't know he is gay and thinks they are just friends) told alex that he thought there was something going on between me and danny and now said i cant stay round there when danny is there because he doesn't what "that kind of thing" going on in he's house but there is nothing going on between me and danny because he is gay but we cant tell alex's dad that because he is really old fashioned and doesn't approve of people being gay and now i cant stay there anymore when danny is there, we have tried to tell alex's dad there is nothing going on but he wont believe us , what shall i do to convince him the truth ? !!! thank you xx

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A female reader, torch United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2010):

torch is verified as being by the original poster of the question

torch agony auntSoon567, my parents let me stay round there becuase i have known alex all of my life and they know alex is gay and they know he is with danny !!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (7 June 2010):

YouWish agony auntHeh. Actually, come to think of it, you did Alex and Danny a mega-favor with Alex's dad. If he's focused on you and thinking they're hetero males and that you and Danny are up to some hanky panky, there's no WAY he'll suspect that his son and Danny are involved. His dad is a mega-conservative who probably would lose his mind if he thought Alex was gay.

If you want to be friends with them still, then hang around. If you start dating another guy, bring that guy too. By being hyper aware of you, Alex's dad is blind to all else.

You'll have to truly hang out with those boys away from the house though for now, but bear it with honor.

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A female reader, laetitia Canada +, writes (7 June 2010):

laetitia agony auntI agree with chigirl. You need to step back. His dad is wayy too conservative and parents do now like to "be convinced" by their kids anything. Further more, he is not your dad, so don't try anything.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (7 June 2010):

chigirl agony auntYou shouldn't tell him they are gay, thats for sure. This man doesnt even want a guy hugging a girl in his house, and thinks bad of it. He probably wouldn't allow Danny and Alex to see each other if he knew they were dating. So either you skip out and suck it up, or you can ruin their relationship by telling the dad and so none of them will be friends with you again.

I say just suck it up. His dad is weird and doesn't like hugs going on in his house. Parents can be that way. Life isn't fair. Just accept it.

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A female reader, hpoco Switzerland +, writes (7 June 2010):

hpoco agony auntConsidering you can't tell him the truth, there is probably little you can do to convince him of anything! He most likely senses something is going on, and perhaps can't face the reality of the situation (even though he might suspect it). You might try telling him you have a different boyfriend, to reassure him you aren't interested in "danny", he might believe you and let it go. Otherwise, the only thing you can do is respect his decision and wait for him to calm down.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010):

Nothing, just hang out with danny outside alexs house somewhere else

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