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He's completely avoiding me because he thinks he is the character in my book!

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2011)
A male Netherlands age 30-35, *enKuijper writes:

Dear Agony Aunts,

I am an engineering student and also a writer, living in Germany and I am bisexual. I had a very close straight friend who knows that I am bisexual and because of my false action, he is now avoiding from me.

Last week I sent him an email including my coming book’s cover. But accidentally (I was not going to send him the back cover yet) sent the back cover also, which includes a summary of the book. My new book’s foundation/base is really close to my life; there is a bisexual international student comes to Germany to study and he meet with a straight student and also a co-worker in the university and falls in love with him which is the same story when I first met with this friend and I actually fell in love with him but because I know he is straight, I never told him this and moved on. Because he never read the book he doesn’t know the actual story which is completely fiction and I think, he definitely thought that this friend character in the summary was him. Now he is not answering any of my messages and never calling me back, normally he always answers my messages and calls me back.

I can’t reach him to tell that he is actually not that character in the book and I will never try to change him to be with me. He is my best friend in Germany and I don’t want to lose him. What can I do? Do you think I should go to his house and knock his door to tell everything?

Thank you very much in advance for your precious advices.

View related questions: best friend, co-worker, fell in love, university

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2011):

Boonridge McPhalify agony aunti remember you! yeah i think he probably had some kind of inkling but feels that the book is about him and that you have misrepresented him and portrayed him in a fashion which he doesn't appreciate.

give him some time, but realise that gay or straight if you write about someone and they see the book unless they are very stupid they will probably realise when the character is based on them. its a risk you have to take as a writer but its probably creeped him out in a big way.

give it time

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A female reader, wickedlycute United States +, writes (5 October 2011):

wickedlycute agony auntI agree with aunt honesty. I think you should leave him a message,email,voice mail, text,etc. he will eventually see it.and be honest with him. hope everything goes well.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 October 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntIf you cannot get in contact with him by calling him well then just send him a message and tell him that the book is completely fictional. Explain everything to him and then I guess all you can do from there is hope for the best. Good luck.

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