A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:Soo. My boyfriend of the same age is an asshole pretty much. He flirts with girls, rubs on them..in front of me and then comes running back to me and rubbing on me...He sneaks around the corners of school trying to get something accomplished with me. When I tell him to stop, he gets all pissed off and doubts everything about me. When I tell him I don't like something about him or that I don't like what he does with me, he gets mad. He doesn't understand my wit and humor, so he gets pissed when I joke around. But when he jokes around, I'm supposed to just sit there and take the "good-natured" sexual insults. He flirts with my best friends...and when I question him about it, he always repeats the same thing, "Why am I with you instead, then?" On his myspace and facebook, he has all these girls calling him baby...Yet he says he "loves" me. Which is bullshit, to be honest. His "i love yous" get faker by the day. I can almost tell he's using me. Like I'm "easy." And it's as if my friends are in on his plan. He only tells me I look "pretty" when he thinks I do. And it's only during that time that he wants to kiss me. He makes me feel bad because he has horrible mood swings..which I don't need right now. He makes my grades go down (I used to be straight As..now I'm straight Cs and Bs). He mentions calling and texting my friends and asking them about stuff..he never does that with me. And I've grown so attatched to the male attention I NEVER had..that I can't let go. I've broken up with him before but I felt like pure crap..I couldn't handle it. I'm already an emotional wreck and the jealousy would kill me. I don't think there's anything wrong with me, no matter how many times he asked me to change (which I didn't). I have self-respect. Just not in this case. This is ruining me. But what can I do?I would appreciate ANY and ALL advice. Please..this is ruining my life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): I understand you, its hard, but you need to brake up with him. You are better then him. He sees your a good girl and he wants to have a good girl yet be that bad boy...well it doesnt work like that. Believe me if you brake up with him, your showing yourself that you are worth respect, and he will see soon that your a good person and that he messed up, its not worth your time, and the longer you wait, the worse its going to get, and the more depressed you will become. Your grades could end up a FAIL....So dump his sorry ass, no asshole deserves a Good girl!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I have the same problem, except my asshole boyfriend is both mentally and physically abusive. Im not sure if he is obsessive, but if he makes it sound like he doesnt care if you leave him, he does care. You should try not talking to him for a couple of days. He'll start missing you. It works for me.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (9 April 2008):
 What on earth are you getting from going out with him? NOTHING! Bad Grades and insults! You can't change anyone else, you can only change yourself. I suggest changing into a girl who doesn't date Jackasses. Grow a spine and Dump His Sorry Ass! Pardon my language. The only thing that hanging around with a boy who treats you like that is doing for you, is confirming to everyone around you that you make poor choices for yourself and that you allow others to treat you badly. You are a very articulate young woman, your letter was well written. I think that you are probably out of his league, he secretly knows this and tries to bring you down to his level in order to hang onto you. If your grades are falling and you self-esteem is in the toilet because of him, his manipulative ways are working for him, aren't they? Most of the things that you described about the way he treats you is bullying, it's a controlling technique used by abusers. Right now, you're letting him get away with this. Who's smarter now? Take control and read your letter again, and all of ours. You don't need a worthless boyfriend like this! You need someone who loves you and who raises you up! We all do!
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A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (9 April 2008):
 you deserve so much better than this boy! i hope to God that you could find the strength to dump his sorry ass before its too late. being with him is hurting you mentally and physically. it is SO important to concentrate on school, and if you found the right guy your grades would not be dropping as much as they have been. being with this boy is driving you crazy and it is almost as if you are on a roller coaster with him and your emotions. as much as you do like him i can tell that there is something about him that you just can not let go. TRUST ME when i say this.. you can do so much better and you will find someone much better than him. relationships do take time. but when the right boy comes along he will find you. your boyfriend is not that boy. the most important thing in your life right now should be your family and friends. talking things out with a very close friend could also come in handy. remember that boys come and go but friends are there to stay.
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A
male
reader, brow +, writes (9 April 2008):
Sounds like you love drama. Dont try to change the guy, change the kind of guys you go out with.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (9 April 2008):
 I only have one question, why are you still with him???? You did not list ONE good quality about this douche bag. You like the male attention, ok. But wouldnt attention from a good guy be so much better? By breaking up with him you feel jealous and like crap, but seeing him flirt with your friends and have girls telling him they love him doesnt make you jealous and feel like crap? Needless to say, you are better off. Also needless to say, he is using you. Probably cheating on you... You sound intelligent, dont put up with this any longer. If you have any self-respect left, leave. Dont ever settle for this crap. If you can even think of a reason to stay with him then do so. But from what Ive seen there isnt even one. You may be dependent on him? And this is negative attention he is giving you. Leave him. This will get you some self respect back. Tell yourself "Im better than this", cause you are and you deserve better. Staying with him is only giving him exactly what he wants, someone to walk all over. You are better.
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