A
male
age
26-29,
*haneblastedskyhigh
writes:hey guys,here's the thing....just tell me if I'm overreacting or over thinking this . i think my best friend is being a copycat . he copies me everytime. me and him have been best friends since four years now and since last two years I'm noticing that he is copying me like way too much. he copies my style,my liking,even the clothes i wear. I love my best friend and treat him like my own brother but i can't handle this copying thing....Let me give you some examples---*one day we were hanging out and we started conversing about shoes. He told me he likes sports shoes ,mainly nike and don't like sneakers, i told him i like sneakers. i then told him that i was saving my pocket money to buy classic white hi-top converse sneakers because i was thinking of buying those since a long time. two weeks later he told me that he bought those exact sneakers...!! after that i told him about caramel converse low-tops that i wanna buy...and now after two days he says he wanna buy them too....!* I tell him about my crushes every time . There was a girl in my class who was cute and i told him that i had a crush on her. he started pointing out minus points in her. the next time i discuss her he says that he just got a crush on her too. this had happened two times. he even copies the way i talk to people. i tried talking to him but he just laughs this off and says that he don't do this....! i like him but is he always gonna stay the same?? he is loyal and funny but this is the only thing i hate about him. everytime he do this...it makes me feel jealous. I'm not rich so there is no way i can show things off to him and then he would like them. I like him as a friend , not a CLONE..!!! how can i tell him to stop this? he tells me that I'm cool and whatever i do is cool but he should get a style of his own too,a thinking power of his own.am i overreacting over this or being immature? i don't like the way he is acting and neither do i like to hold this grudge against him. how do i deal with this? what should i do??
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best friend, crush, immature, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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male
reader, shaneblastedskyhigh +, writes (7 June 2015):
shaneblastedskyhigh is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for your advice guys.... :-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2015): As the previous posters have said you should take it as a compliment but I do appreciate how irritating it is.
I teach people around your age and know it's a time when young people are trying to find and assert their own identity. What's "cool" and "not cool" changes week by week and maybe it doesn't bother you, but your friend is feeling all that peer pressure and doesn't want to feel ostracised and unpopular.
You clearly have a confident sense of self and your friend does not. He's not trying to upset you, he's trying to do the opposite which is to fit in and feel valued.
This will change as you grow older but for now I agree with the others that you should keep quiet about things before you buy them. Why not talk to him and try to work a different style for him that compliments yours. So you can be vaguely similar but not clones. Also chatting about things in a non critical way will help develop his confidence so he can feel happy in his own choices.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 June 2015):
 You know the saying:
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." ? This is it. He sees you are his "guide" on how to do it right. So when you do things, say things, he copies in hopes of getting the same results. Whether it is with the girls, the fashion or other social areas.
He may NOT be fully aware of it and even pointing it out will only make him think, it CAN'T be right.
I had a friend like that. I got a hair cut, she got a one. I got new boots, she got the SAME. I liked a band, she liked the same one... over and over and over. She was especially adapt at buying things BEFORE me. Things I was saving up for. IT DOES get old.
I actually saw her less for a while, confided less in her. Having a little distance helped.
When we did hang out again, or went shopping, I usually let her pick first (that way she couldn't REALLY change her mind or copy me).
Honestly, avoid the subject of fashion a while. Or get him to TALK about what HE likes. Maybe he will start to develop his own style a bit more.
By the way, from 13-21 (ish) LOAD of people copy others. You see some shoes on a guy and think, man those are nice.. So you buy them, others see them on you and buy them.. that is.. KIND of how fashion works. You might think YOUR style is unique, but... you have also been "inspired" or "copied" ideas yourself.
He will eventually outgrow it.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (4 June 2015):
 As the saying goes: "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."
He thinks you're cool and is subconsciously copying you. It's not uncommon.
Maybe you should not mention things you are thinking of getting, then he can't jump in there first.
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