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He's 17 and he said he would wait, if I did, or we could sneak it? What should we do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Crushes, Dating, Family, Health, Sex, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2014)
A female Canada age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Well, I'm 13 and My best friend has a brother named Jack.

Jack is turning 17, and i started seeing him more often and began to realize i had strong feelings for him.

I told him I liked him.

That night i slept in his room with him we didn't have sex but we made out and started dating.

We kept it a secret for a few days but his parents found out and didn't approve of the age difference/

On the other hand my parents said go for it just don't make it a sexually active relationship, and its not.

Jacks parents want him to wait till hes 19 and i'm 16, I love him and want to be with him and i"m pretty sure he feels the same way well, that's what he told me.

Now, the question is what should I do? (He said he would wait if I did or we could sneak it but i'd have to make sure he's alright with it cause he would be the one getting in trouble and we tried keeping it on the D.L but we kinda failed that.)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No, but my mom said if are relationship continues (which we are just friends at the moment.) she will get me birth control pills.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 October 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhat you should do is wait till you are 16.

do not sneak around.

if he truly wants to wait for you then I suggest you be just friends with him for the next three years. That means only seeing him in public with others around.

I lost my virginity to my best friend's brother at age 14. I used to sleep at her house and at night I would get up and go to his bed... we would kiss and cuddle but it will NOT stop there.

EVERY TIME you get into his bed or are alone with him you are Playing with fire and it's very dangerous.

STOP GETTING IN HIS BED EVEN AS FRIENDS.

If it is meant to be, it will survive 3 years of friendship that is just friendship.

laying down in his bed in the dark at night... is not a good plan.

are you on birth control? (pills or implants?)

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A male reader, Forge United States +, writes (6 October 2014):

Forge agony auntI'd like to step in here and give my opinion, as I see fit.

This is sort of an "iffy" kind of relationship. I suggest you watch him. You're off doing the same things I was, which is looking for love.

Honestly, it isn't worth it. Until you have a car, money, and a job, dating is seriously a waste of time. It's just setting you up for emotional distress in the future.

My ex and I had a VERY bad fall out, and it caused her to NEED counseling. All because of several small and dumb reasons.

I'm still EXTRMEMLY hesitant to dating, despite that I've got a bit of experience. All because of the one girl. It's done some damage, and I'M supposed to be the strong one.

Give it time with this guy. Wait a few years to date. otherwise it'd just put you on the high wire, and you just need to slip and fall for everything to explode in your face. Not something you want, I'm sure.

Just because you made out shouldn't dictate that you would date, although it's run its course already. You shouldn't have made out with him in the first place. Hell, you shouldn't have been in his room to begin with.

Just some friendly insight, don't get mad because I'm helping. Honeypie has a point though. If you let things get rough (which they can/will) then you'd lose your star player for 10 years. Minimum.

Don't get angry at her for trying to help, it makes you look bad and doesn't make people want to help you.

-Førg€

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I said we weren't having sex..... Maybe if you took the time to read things you would know that.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntNo, no no and just no. YOU (whether you like it or not) are STILL a kid. He is a young adult.

13 is WAY to soon for sex. Your body and mostly your MIND is not ready for this, not matter how mature you think you are.

The minimum age for consensual sex (do you know what that is?) Let me lay it on you from a LAW STANDPOINT and this is CANADIAN LAW.

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Age of consent for sexual activity

According to section 151 of the Criminal Code, the legal age for consenting to a sexual activity is fourteen (14) years

" Every person who, for a sexual purpose, touches, directly or indirectly, with a part of the body

or with an object, any part of the body a person under the age of fourteen (14) years is guilty of an

indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years or is guilty of an

offence punishable on summary conviction. "

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So YOUR parents or ANYONE who knows you two are having sex can call the Police on your "bf". And HE can go to prison for UP TO 10 years.

If he is MORE than 2 years older then you, you TWO have to wait till you are 16-18 to have sex. 14 is NOT OK with an 18 year old. THAT is another part of the law.

You WANT to grow up so fast so you can do adult things. Honey, SLOW down. And don't RISK his FUTURE for something you shouldn't be doing.

You even KNOW he would be the one getting in trouble but do you UNDERSTAND the consequences? 10 YEARS in prison.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014):

I agree with your parents. Age ain't nothing but a number. It sounds like he really likes you. But be smart. Learn what type of guy he is before getting too involve. Use your instinct to make sure he genuinely cares about you before saying I love you. And be extremely careful sex complicates things. Don't let him talk you into sex before marriage. If he cares, he will wait. And hr sounds like a great guy, so I'm sure he will.

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