A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that my girl fooled around with this guy from work. We had known each other at the time but it was before we started dating. It just repulses me to know about it. He is a truly disgusting guy. She got checked for STDs because of him and came out clean, but the thought is making me crazy. Every time I try to get intimate with her I picture them together. I don't know why but it feels like she cheated on me. Do I have the right to be angry? Please give me some advice on the situation.
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female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (5 July 2010):
Look she made a mistake it was before you two got together so just move on from it, no you dont have a right to be angry with her because its her life its nothing to do with you, shes with you now
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): Did she ever purposely decieve you about this?
Lies, misleading statements, omissions, etc. It's all the same thing in the end regardless of exactly how she chose to do it.
If she decieved you then you have the right to be angry.
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A
male
reader, GabeP +, writes (5 July 2010):
I'll offer a somewhat different view. Rather than ask whether you have the "right" to be angry, ask yourself what her decision to date/sleep with this guy should tell you. Does it tell you that she made a mistake? Does it tell you that she exercises poor judgment? Does it tell you that she has different values?
If you really think this guy is that disgusting, I'd question her judgment more than her propriety. The easy answer is to say that we all make mistakes, but the reality is that our mistakes tell a story about who we really are at our lowest points. You might conclude that she's a smart, attractive girl, but makes the sort of major mistakes that indicate that she might not be the sort of person who you want to have partial control of your money.
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A
female
reader, loraemoon +, writes (4 July 2010):
 wellthe answer is easy really u dont have a right to be angry really because it was before you but on the other hand i know from exsperience how much someones past can repulse you im the same with my boyfriend i thinkof him with someone else before he e=was with me i go mad i get angry, cant stand the thought of him ever touching or had touched another woman it makes me hurt inside i know thats crazy and it really shouldnt matter but to a few people it really does, im trying my best just to try n block it its hard i know but just try to do the same n hope it will fade , i feel for you i know how it is on a dady to day basis not easy
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Sorry, but you do not have that right.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 No sorry mate you don't have the right to be angry. She did this before you were together so she has not done anything wrong. Every one of us has made odd choices in our lives at times and to be hauled over the coals for those choices is unfair because it's all part of growing up and learning about ourselves. You need to get a grip and move on from this because if you keep focusing on it, it will destroy your relationship! Make a conscious decision to replace any thoughts of them together with one of the two of you together. You will have to concentrate hard at first to do this but eventually it will become automatic and in the end you will not even give the two of them one thought. Good luck
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