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Her fantasies turn me off!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2010)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

My wife and I have had some very serious problems for the past couple of years and have been going to a therapist. I want to be cooperative, but I admit also to wanting to learn more about my wife's clandestine behavior that led I believed to our recent separation, so I followed my wife's lead, letting her tell me what she wanted and I would act as she wished. As a result of this whole thing, I have discovered that my wife has always thought that I am a terrible lover, uptight, inhibited, insecure, and narrow-minded. The therapist tells me to just follow my wife's fantasies, and I have tried to do that. I am having trouble adopting the right attitude as one or two of them do not excite me. Has anyone else found excitement in a spouse's fantasies that at first you found boring or even repellent?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010):

No, i did try one of m boyfriends ...... I do not think I will ever try that one again. But some of them I think for him I could get use to because I love seeing him happy and impressed when I do something he doesn't think I ever would . So Yes eventually i think I could get use to some of his ideas.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

My wife's fantasy is a clean house and spotless bathroom. Mine involves a remote control and some beer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I first of all want to say that I didn't title my question myself. The administrators made the title, "Her Fantasies Turn Me Off," and "turn me off" is incorrect and misleading. Only two of them seem to, and I have refused to try them.

Others I have tried with at least some enjoyment. Others with a great deal.

Thank you for your answers. However, my question still is unanswered. Here is the question, " Has anyone else found excitement in a spouse's fantasies that at first you found boring or even repellent?" None of the answers answered it. My question is, "EVENTUALLY" did you learn to enjoy your parnter's fantasies?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010):

My boyfriend ... at times, talks to much about have cool it would be to try things he sees porn stars do .... believe me some of those DEFINITELY turn me off .....

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A male reader, escribanus New Zealand +, writes (30 July 2010):

escribanus agony auntWhat do you think about your own performance as lover?. Not everyone is meant to be a sexathlette or something like that.

But I think you should try to get wild and free on it. As long the fantasy doesn't harm anybody and both of you agree, is ok. Nobody else has anything to do about what goes on your marriage sex life.

Well, I think is esy to dump a lot of inhibitions and some tabues. But you are the one who will say I can go just to that point. Topics like new positions, implement kamasutra techniques, try new places to do love, put much more romance and fun... I think is easy and you can try it. Some hardcore things, well it deppends in likening, only one thing porn movies are a bunch of lies and garbage that destroys the value of sex and making love, that poison makes unhappy and frustrated people, the real thing is the feeling.

My best advice, don't concern to much about having sex. Beter focus on making love.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010):

Indeed. My old boyfriend had an obsession with sucking my toes/wanted me to suck them. Can't say I found sucking my own toes very sexy..

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 July 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntYeh,yeh, I know what you mean. My wife's fantasy is to sip hot coco while cuddling on the couch together-BORING!

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