A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneI met a girl a few months ago, and we got along so well. we would speak often and when we met up she seemed to really enjoy it and would message me all day they day after saying how much she enjoyed it.if i compliment her appearance she seems delighted and shy. she told me in her last message that i'm "a really special person" for her and that the last day we met was the "best day of the year so far".we live a few hours away from each other so cannot meet every day. so we message a lot. Everything between us is really good, when she messages me she is always so nice, seems really into me and she writes really long messages, sends photos etc. However last month things changed. She was busy for a week doing a voluntary activity that she had told me about and she didn't write for a few days. but then after that she wrote me an essay telling me all about it, lots of photos etc.since then her replies have been quite delayed, 2 days, 3 days and now 6 days and counting. however when she replies she is really nice, seems to really want to talk, really long messages and genuinely seems to like me. she may of course me busy but i think if you like someone you always find time for them.What does this all mean? I wonder if she does genuinely really like me but as a friend, is playing hard to get or is just actually busy.In my last message i suggested meeting again but she hasn't read it yet despite being online, posting to instagram etc (i'm one of her only followers on instagram and liked her photo she posted when she did). I'm really confused as when we talk I am 100% sure she likes me, but she doesn't do it often enough to seem like she really is interested.what do you think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (10 August 2015):
 She MIGHT be genuinely busy, but I'm inclined to agree with the other poster. It sounds like she's trying to let you down gently.The thing is unless you're a sociopath, no one wants to hurt another person's feelings. It's a crummy position to be in, for both parties, especially when you've been conditioned to always be polite and consider others. Secondly, we don't always know how someone is going to take that kind of bad news. Some folks are indignant and demand an 'valid explanation' and beg for umpteen more chances.Not to mention there is a fine line between politely letting someone down and being unnecessarily rude or harsh. What are they supposed to say? You had bad breath? You're not really attractive enough and they can no longer overlook it? What?My advice is the same, respond to her if you like, but gradually take longer to answer. She'll either become more interested if she sees you pulling away or she'll feel relieved that you're clever and classy enough to get the message and act accordingly.
A
male
reader, mfj78 +, writes (9 August 2015):
Sounds like she is letting you down gently. I have been in the same situation several times myself and its always hard when someone wont just admit they don't want to see you again and instead do the whole gradually vanish thing.You need to take a step back, if she is genuinely interested she will make more effort, if she becomes further distant you have your answer. As you said, if she was genuinely into you she would make time. The old "im really busy" routine gets old very quickly my friend. So many times over the years I have met with women and for the first few dates and first weeks of contact they tell me how nice I am, how I seem so genuine, how our date was the best day ever and all of that but in my experience those are the people who very quickly disappear. Actually its the ones who didn't seem that keen at first who stayed the course.Mark
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