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Help..how to seduce my cousin?

Tagged as: Age differences, Family, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 December 2009) 12 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *olita14 writes:

Hey,

So my cousin's really hot. He's 17 and I'm 14. We chat sometimes but we never flirt, and he has a girlfriend. But I really want to get him to notice me! How can I do so?

Please don't say "you're too young" or "it's your COUSIN get real". First I don't want to go far with him, second, it's my choice who I decide to be with.

View related questions: cousin, flirt, has a girlfriend, notice me

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A female reader, savvy United States +, writes (18 December 2009):

For one, i think you are just a young girl wanting attention, because if you didnt want anyone to comment on you being too young or it being your cousin then you wouldnt have said anything about him being your cousin and him being that much older than you, this site is for advice yes, but you pretty much answered your own question and you are also supposed to be open minded so dont ask for advice if you cant take the advice.

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A female reader, folo Canada +, writes (17 December 2009):

folo agony auntyea hun u might have an attractive cousin but he is your COUSIN, thats gross i'm sure you can find a guy out there that isn't related to you, and another reason he has a girlfreind and they probably love each other very much so why in the world would you want to rui a relatioship for your own convinence

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

have you checked your mind lately?

no sane person would pursue a relationship with a COUSIN or any member of his/her family.

he is a part of your family, aren't you ashamed?

it does not mean just because we are in the 21st century, cousins can enter a relationship with their cousins.

my best advice? restrain and stop this. so what if he is cute? there's a million other cute guys out there who isn't your COUSIN.Think girl.USE your brain.not your feelings. your feelings wont do you any good.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009):

Why can't we reply , cos he's YOUR COUSIN and you're YOUNG, that's exactly what he'd think about you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009):

Your cousin is a member of your family and as such you will have a relationship with him for the rest of your lives unless something happens to screw that up.

Don't screw that up, he is your family, not your opportunity to get laid or to fool around with or to even have your ego stroked by his attention.

He will think there is something seriously wrong with you if you try to seduce him, the guy thinks you are a baby because you are, and he already has a girlfriend, someone whom he likes and is his peer.

Go get a crush on some other dude, maybe look in a teen mag and find a star to crush on.

Take care.

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A male reader, Luvr Buoy Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (14 December 2009):

I want to urge those of u responding to this young person, to step out of the box, and try 2 hear the real issues... Stop attacking her with the average wrong and right concepts! God Bless!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 December 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntCW is right as rain and you really have answered your own question with your own words and reasoning, "you're too young" and "it's your cousin". Listen to yourself.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

Hello. Yes its your choice who you decide to be with but its also the choice of the other person if they dont want to be with you. Youre young and just starting out and sometimes its easy to hit on someone you know and feel safe with. Its a kind of practise for later when youre out there dating for real. He might seem hot but that doesnt mean you have to date him. Hes your cousin, feel proud of having a good looking relative and leave it at that. He probably looks on you as his lil coz and wont be interested, besides the fact youre his relative, he also has a girlfriend. You will probably just embarrass yourself and cause a rift if you freak him out. Just enjoy his company and dont push for something more.... just because you feel you can do what you want! Use you brains x

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (14 December 2009):

k_c100 agony auntOf course it is your choice when it comes to deciding who you "want" to be with - but that other person actually has to be interested in you in the first place to make that happen!

Ok so there are 3 good reasons why you shouldnt be with your cousin (and these 3 reasons are probably why he would never be interested in you either):

1. He has a girlfriend

2. You are family

3. The age difference. While there are only 3 years difference between you, because you are so far under the legal age of consent he could get into a lot of trouble with the police by being with you.

I understand that you think he is "hot" - but so are lots of other guys out there! Just because you are attracted to someone does not mean you have to act upon it - it is fine to have a crush on him but it is totally inappropriate to act on this crush! For a start he has a girlfriend - he will never "notice" you while he is in a relationship with someone else. I imagine they are very happy together so if you start flirting with him you will just seem like a desperate little teenager. Secondly, you are family. What would yours and his parents think if they knew about this?

There are no reasons why you should pursue your cousin, it will only cause problems and you will end up looking silly. So just accept that this is a crush, it will pass in time and there are plenty more hot guys out there that you are not related to so go chase after them.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, Sadnat South Africa +, writes (14 December 2009):

Sadnat agony auntapart from it being really sick...i feel that its wrong of you to want to mess up a relationship becuse of your selfish wants. ho would you feel if you were dating someone and some girl seduced your man for her selfish desires. come girl dont be a skank...rather be the better person and get over him. sometimes you cant always get what you want, thats life!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

To a point it is your choice who you choose to be with. However, due to the high probability of your children having extra toes and low functionality you should not be with a relative.

In addition, at your age and his age, your age difference is too large. When you are in your id 20's and older, the age difference will be fine. It is just not something that will happen or you should choose to make happen at this time. Keep the friendship going, but do not move it to a sexual relationship yet.

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A female reader, Carrot2000 United States +, writes (14 December 2009):

Carrot2000 agony auntHe has a girlfriend and does not flirt with you, which means he is not interested in you that way. And even if you don't think there is anything wrong with seducing your cousin, he very well may be grossed out by it.

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