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Help... Who Should I Choose?

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Question - (6 February 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *epresed writes:

What should i do? I've been with someone for 4yrs, recently I have gotten very close with his brother and i feel as though i have feelings for him and really dont know what to do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

think wats at stake here, its not just your relationship you'd be ruining here but a family.

get the brother out of your head for good, everytime you think of him, tell yourself you love your partner. if you dont love your partner then walk away from both of them.

work on your relationship, bring back that spark, try to liven up the sex, make it more spontaneous and lustfull rather than machinical. spend qaulity time together, go out for meals, switch off the tele, talk.... it doesnt always have to be his job to make the move, especially if you want this to work n not end up being stupid and wrecking his family

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A female reader, Cherries Needs Help United States +, writes (6 February 2007):

Cherries Needs Help agony auntIf you have been with the one guy for 4 years and now you are starting to like his brother that is normal, but if you were to date his brother there would be many problems with them because if one brother dates the other brothers ex it usually doesn't end up to good. I just would like to say you really need to sit down and really think about what you need to do before you do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

what kind of person are you? Do you not realize this kind of behaviour can tear a family apart,what you should do is make it work if possible with your man, if you cant do that, find yourself a man outside the family that way your ex and his brother stay close and friends.

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A female reader, jabey United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2007):

This is a difficult one, you poor thing. Have you started a relationship with the brother ? are you spending more time with him? Its a little difficult to reply as I could do with more detail. Quite often when we have been in a relationship with someone for a long while obviously the excitment, and spark has died down a little. Therefore another can often stir up those intense feelings which come with new romance. Now are you happy in your current relationship, if so and there is nothing you feel is wrong then maybe this is a case of newness and excitment. Whereas if in your current relationship there is something missing or something making you unhappy, then maybe the brother is offering you those missing links. If you are unhappy in your realtionship, look at why that is. thenit really often is a good idea to asess that before diving into anything else. because as you already know , having a realationship with the brother will be a little difficult.

Have a good look at all angles and then really you will know which way to turn. Good luck.

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