New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225348 questions, 979747 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Help! Things are moving too fast. I'm 12 and my boyfriend is 17...

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2005) 57 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2009)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi, I need some advice about my boyfriend. I'm 12 and he's 17, we've been together for 2 months I really love him but things are moving a bit fast for me. We haven't even told my parents yet and he's talking about having sex!

He has had sex with lots of girls and I'm a virgin. He says I'll be his 'proper' girlfriend once we've had sex and I want that. I hate feeling young around him and his mates. I want to be a proper girlfriend.

None of my mates have had sex and I'm just scared. I have no one to talk to about sex and don't really know much about it. Do you think it will come naturally once I'm in that situation?

I want to be a good girlfriend and give him what he wants. I know he'll go to another girl if I don't do it. There's loads of pretty girls that want him and they will do it. Please help, before it's too late.

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, gwrox United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2009):

gwrox agony auntdont!

as soon as youve done it hell just drop you like a bomb and go after another young girl!

youll totaly regret it too!

(12 is too young to be going ou with a 17 year old!!)

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009):

You're 12!!! 1st you shouldn't be going out with a 17 year old. and if he's asking for sex that's the only reson he's with you in the 1st place!! It's because you're young and nieve. So you tell him that you're not ready to take that step and if he has a problem, dump him and find someone else! Your own age.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008):

You've only been with him for 2 months, your twelve I think you can wait a little bit more longer. You shouldnt have sex with him to be a good girlfriend, if you do have sex with him, he wont have any respect for you, he will just treat you like those others girls he had sex with, tek it den leave you. I'm Jamaican if the men in my society found out about a 12yr old with a 17yr old they woukd beat that boy, because Jamaican's dont rate disrespect to female and then the women in the society would tell your parents and then you would get beat till you purple.

Take it from me I am not a virgin. I'v had sex 10 times and it still hurts, please your so young dont do it concentrate on school then find a bf at 16/17, but just enjoy your innocence. Remember the Capital B law. "Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies."

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

If your twelve, and he's 17, and he wants to have sex with you, doesn't that make it rape? If it it, talk to him, and when you exit the house door, break up with him, and never talk to him again.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

If you know what school he goes to, call 911, tell them what school he goes to, and they will probably go there and arrest him. If they don't, tell his parents. If you do have sex with him, DO NOT SPLIT THE CONDOM! YOU WILL PROBABLY GET A STD!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, metalgearslayer United States +, writes (25 September 2008):

metalgearslayer agony auntare you F#$%ing Kidding me? listen im only 12 but if your dating 17 year old guy thats just a mistake right there futher more if hes pressuring you in sex thats just i mean

are you stupid? report him thats illegal

find a nice boy your own age.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

I am kinda in the same situation, well, im 13 and he's 17 his names Ryan. we love each other and i can tell by the look in his eyes he really loves me back. The farthest I have ever gone with a guy is a little more than making out, (we werent having sex or anything, but, i dont know if you know this, but, there are other things that are considered sexual, but not actual sex, so thats what i mean by 'a little more' if you dont know i really dont think you should hear it from me cuz i dont know u, maybe a friend could explain what 'almost' means, ok?)you need to tell him you are HIGHLY offended that you will only be his 'proper girlfriend' if you guys have sex. thats a horrible thing to say to someone so young! DONT DO IT! tell him to wait! tell him to keep it in his pants or move on!and if you ever do decide to have it, get some birth control pils and make him use a condom!you WILL regret it if you do it so young and if you do it with someone who isnt really in love with you.AND, if you dont have BC ( birth control) pills, you could get preggers, a good example of this, is that show The Secret Life of the American Teenager, watch the parts with Amy in it and skip the parts with this one girl named Adrian in it, Adrian is the opposite of what you should do, watch it its a good show!and also,in the Bring It On movie with Hayden Panittiere, her bf wants her to have sex and then as soon as she moves away, he sleeps with another girl!if he keeps asking, dump him, hes not worth it, and plus, you can say that you dumped someone whose 5 years older which would be cool to say! My bf has never asked me to have sex and actually, we've never even made out yet, so, yeah. BUT, one day we were sitting around with his friends and my friends where he works and you know how medicines like heart problem pills and, like, birth control pills print paper pads with an ad for the pill in the corner? well, there was this box with kitchen supplies in it, and someone had taped a piece of paper on the side and the paper was the pill- advertisement kind of paper and the ad was for a birth control pill, now, on the paper someone had wrote 'kitchen supplies', and sure enough, it was kitchen supplies, i saw a spatula and whisk fall out, but, before that happened, all i could see on the box was the ad for the pill ,because it was at the top of the paper and the top was all i could see of the box (so, i missed where it said 'kitchen supplies') so i was like, "dude, wats with the birth contol pills in a box?" and then, i can only HOPE for a good answer, but then Ryan said something in a joking voice, "yeah, (laughs), we have them cuz weve all had sex with each other around here, (laughs a bit harder)" now, AHHHBIOUSLY, there were no real pills, just kitchen stuff, but his comment left me with this little chill in my heart. I dont know if he's a virgin, hes probably not, or if he is a virgin, hes atlest done what i like to call 'almost'. now im DYING to know if he was joking or not, ive had that chill feeling in my heart the days following and still have it right now. sometimes i wonder if hes just too old too old for me, but i really love him and he loves me but *sighs* its just soooo hard to tell if hes just joking ( he does kid around alot), or if he's not. well i guess even if hes not joking, and he has had sex, that doesnt necessarily mean he wants that with me, i mean, right? maybe hes dating someone younger to be like, i dunno, a better person or something? uuggghhhh im dying right now this is probably one of the biggest delimas i have ever faced. i hope you have far better luck with your situation!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008):

Whoa Whoa Whoa!Thats CRAZZYYYY!!! what the hell does a 17 year old want with a 12 year old i will tell you SEX! i know it may not seem that way but trust me i have delt with the same kind of guys where you feel like you love them and you THINK they love you back..but there just messing with your heart strings take this advice from my own experience why cant he get a 17 year OLD year or older, because obviously there is something wrong i know i have a boyfriend to and were only a year apart 16 and 17 but seriously be careful because he will get you how he wants you and then leave, please find someone who you dont have to worry about bringing up SEX already god damn he needs to get a LIFE and NEW GF!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, yodaxx United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2008):

The guy should be arrested, what is a 17 year old doing dating a 12 year old girl in the first place, it really makes me sick, she has not even matured yet and he is taking complete advantage and should know better, it makes him no better than any other peodophile in many peoples eyes. I am sure this goes on and the boys dont see it that way, but you should- there is no excuse, none at all for dating a girl aged 12. let alone trying to make her have intercourse. your an adult

personally i hope you never gave in and dumped him

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

I know this is an old question but I feel I should reply and give you a perspective from the other side. What I mean by that is, my girlfriend is only 12, I'm 17. I turn 18 in October. My advice to you is do not do it unless you are completely comfortable doing it and know he isnt just going to use you. My girlfriend is very well developed for her age, and I think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. But I care alot about her and we have decided that we will wait until she is atleast 18. I don't want her to do anything she might regret later for some reason, I respect and care for her alot. If your boyfriend really loves you he will understand if you want to wait. I hope this helps.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Sym1 United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2008):

For sure, you are way too young for a sexual relationship right now, as your only 12! You only have 1 virginity- respect yourself, also think about the consequences of sex on your precious body (teen preg/, STIs, possibility of cervical cancer in later years, etc etc). If this guy had any respect or morals he would let you be the kid that you are and find someone of his own age group, is he some sort of paedophile or so immature that he cant seek out a potential gf from his own age group?. I contend that he wants to take advantage of you, then leave you! Dont do it baby-girl, you`ll regret it forever. Wait until your over the legal age of consent and when you`ve matured emotionally, mentally and physically, you`ll be able to judge who`ll be right for you at the right time, which is not right now! Any guy pressuring you to have sex, then you`ll be a proper couple, is clearly lying to you. If he respects you enough he`ll wait! A guy is not bound to stick around for sex, what keeps a man intrigued is keeping him under suspense & also making him see that your interested in yourself. Take my advice, I know what I am talking about!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008):

omg dont do it you will be sorry there are so many diseases you can get and your parents WILL find out thrust me plzzz dont be a dumb butt just tell him i am too young and my parents would KILL me your parents wont mind you blaming it on them just simply say my parents would strangle me cuz it probably would be true

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

all that i have to say to this question is that he's seventeen he believes that he needs to have sex with anything that walks, and honestly i've had one of these boyfriends, and if he thinks that he can just leave you for another girl because you won't give him what he wants, dump him you don't need him. your much too young to make that kind of decision,give it time if does not respect your wanting to wait, and wants to move on let him he does not deserve you

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

my advice is,to not go that far.I am 12 too and i think you will regret it if you do!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

*sigh* Break up with this guy . I know you love him , but i've had the SAME problem . He said we'd be together forever if we did it and I said no . A day later i found out he was cheating on me. The thing is , HES SEVENTEEN! , why doesn't he go out with someone his OWN age?? , Dont DO IT! Head my advice. Viriginty is the key to a girls innoncence. Dont let him take it away from you..

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008):

Okay. You are too young to have sex. Please believe me on that. And hes too old for you. Thats 5 years. it's illegal. All honesty,Guys always say things you want to hear to get in your pants. Listen to S.E.X by Lyfe Jennings. Might sound lame but that song really tells it all. Hope I helped!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007):

look

if ur posting this on here wondering etc

ur clearly NOT ready. ur message says it all. when ur ready ur ready and u dont need to ask other ppl u dnt even no if ur ready. so u r clearly not.

ur 12, i lost mine at 13 and im 17 nearly 18 now. so just listen. please. me and all my friends (male and female) talk about this and how we regret it. we were silly children at that age. and now we look back and realise we knew NOTHING about life. we were still protected in our parents bubbles and comfort and everything. sex is an adult thing. and you are NOT anyway near to being an adult.

u think u love him, but u've hardly started puberty girl, let alone had enuf experience in life to know what love means, entails, and feels like.

i dnt think ppl my age can even truly know, and i'm nearly 6 years older than you. to love you must've hated, to love you must be willing to do whatever for each other. he doesn't love you. wake up! jeeeez. all that proper gf stuff is complete rubbish, if HE was a proper BOYFRIEND then he wudnt say that to you. or go out with you tbh. real love doesnt come in 2 months, especially not with him being like that. if it was real love, he wudnt even THINK that.

he's 17. there r loads of girls his age or even 16. but if he's 17 and going out with a 12 yr old, u've gotta consider why he cant get someone his own age. whats wrong with him meaning he has to go looking for 12 yr olds and then have to pressure them into sex? the answer is: he's desperate (no offense) and his friends r laughing at u, as well as him, for being so pathetic, behind ur backs. u may think its cool and that. but HAHAHA. no. its not. its pathetic, wanna be like, and shows that all ur doing is crying out for attention or popularity.

and girl, u R younger than him and his mates, a HELL of a lot younger. ur still a child. ur not even a teenager! so of course ur a LOT younger in mind, body, and in experience of life.

u havent done ur SATs, ur GCSE's, ur ALevels, you haven't even been through the basic life stressors that help people to form and grow up. so how can you expect to be adult? especially when u cant even see sense with this.

make everyone notice what a loser he is. and dump him. he'd be a 17 yr old loser with a 12 yr old who dumped him. tbh that is just sick. its disgusting. i know people say old enough to bleed old enough to breed but...i doubt you've even started ur periods yet! u r still a child. in everyone's eyes. u r. even when u do start menstruating ur still a child. ur not fully developed by far. ur body will still be as close to a childs as can basically be without ppl punching that boys lights out. it makes me sick.

to end:

u cant know what love is

u dont know what love is

u've gotta realise he's doing what boys that age do - do anything for sex - cos theyre hormones are racing like crazy, not cos they love u. jeez.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

oh hell no u cant do this i mean hes only using and i bet hes triying to see how many girls he can get into bed. plus theres a masive age difference. and can i ask how u got a bf at age 12 and hes 17.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007):

hey tell ur boyfriend that when ur 13 maybe u will think about it sit down have a chat and you just no when the time is right to have sex and when you do have sex use a condom safe and ur parents dont need to know you have had sex just tell thenm you have a boyfriend

easy!!

jade xx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007):

sweetie,

im 12 also and i have a boyfriend thats 17 and i thought i loved him. but the truth is we are to young to know what love is really. i mean my boyfriend is so sexy and he can drive wich i thought was so cool because i was thinking he could take me places and stuff like that.

and he even has a job so i go and see him when hes at work. i mean i really care about this guy but i dont love him. i was hangin wit him and he asked me to kiss him so i did and after that i would kiss him more often and like every other minute and it felt good to kiss him do you know what i mean? but seriously the only reason uys are intrested in younger girls is because they know that they will give it up! so im begging u to end your relationship wit him. if he really loved you he wouldnt pressure you into doing something you dont want to do!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007):

I'm 14 and my bf is 18, not as big of a gap i know but I can somewhat give you advice. My bf told me he loves me enough to wait until I'm 18 or whenever I'm ready because he doesn't want me to rush into anything and he wants me to stay decent... Dont have sex just because your bf wants you to (ps he sounds like a jerk)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007):

hey i have been in this situation before but you know thye say you love them but they might mean it i always thought that if you do have sex with someone you love and your a virgin your going to end up regreting that you had sex well just be careful what you choose because i was going to lose my virginity with the boy i love but i didnt because i knew that what if i did lose it wiht him and a couple months later he ends up leaving you your gonna really want him back cause he was you first one am i rite well im 13 rite now so if i were you i would wait till your older and im happy with the coice i made i mean look at me im still a virgin and havng fun no regrets

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007):

Honey you don't need that stupid boy your 12 have fun with life your not even a teen yet. If you do have sex with him he will end up leaving you ether way... I m 19 I had sex for the first time when I was 16 and I don't regret it but I m in a relationship with a great guy now and we are about to get married and yes we have had sex but that is the only two people I ve been with don't let him force you into anything...if I did take it back it would make me feel good knowing I ve only been with one man

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007):

hey,

i no what your going through. i'm sixteen right now but i've always dated older guys since i was your age, but my advice for you is to not do it. i no you think you love him but if he really loves you he wouldnt want you to do it until you both are ready. maybe hes to old for you right now. you should only be in puppy love. you shouldnt be having serious relationships right now. you have your whole life in head of you. wait for that special person. you will thank yourself later if you do.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007):

Hi i am glad you shared this!

If you do this he wilkl get done by the police!

Think about this deeply

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Claria +, writes (2 January 2007):

Hey im 12 too, i think all of us should not do it at our age! don't do it! hes not worth the time!!!!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006):

Look. he just wants to get in your pants and i know this because i was in the same situation and nothing good can come from it. im only 13 and i was 12 dating a 18 yr old. and we almost both got into trouble because of it. i lost my virginity to him. and it was probably a big mistake... dont do something ur not ready to do just because he says its what u should do. ur not physically or mentially ready. and by saying this to u hes just proving he doesnt love u by using u when he knows ur not ready. if u want to be a "proper" girlfriend keep ur pimp hand strong and tell him to fuck off!!! cuz no proper boyfriend would pressure a gurlfriend they loved into having sex. Mandy!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006):

Hey yes im 15 and my boyfriends 17 and you know people tell me im too young for him and your 12, 3 years younger then me, and i think if he loves you he shouldent care bout having sex till your ready hun you are much to young to be having sex because you could possibly get a name for your self i was 14 when I lost my virginity and it took me 3 months before I had sex with mine and I am still with him now i'v been with him for a year and the reason I did it with him was because i knew he loved me and we cared for each other very much and if that guys is ganna leave you if you dont have sex with him he's not worth it, you dont wanna lose your virginity to someone like that you should at least wait a few years or untill you know you found someone you truely love , dont you want your first time to be special? mine was.... hun trust it's not worth it tell him if he likes you or loves you that much he can wait till your ready ... I know age aint nuthing but a number but him dating you and he's 17 is like you dating a 9 year old.. n I dont think you'd like that... so just think bout this and if you listen uyou'll make the right desion.. but I wish you very good luck ~April~ 15,New York

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006):

hey hun i think you should consider ending this relationship with him..trust me i have had the same thing but i said NO! and he performed sexual actions on me..hun he does not respect you by the sounds of it. if he had respect and loved you he would wait until your ready.he should be looking for girls around his age ..if he is going to leave you because you wont have sex let him go his not worth the time..you should move on and find someone your age im sure some one your age would have a secret crush on you.

You seem like a nice girl and scared about this sex situation.. so dont go along with it..if you dont want to make it wrong and you want to stay with him maybe talk it out with him like saying 'im sorry but im not ready for sex at this present age..i do love you but id appciate it if you could wait.' if he can not accept that you are not ready and you have tired to talk it out well hun thats a sign to move on..anyway i have to run..Good luck with it..please follow your heart not your head..

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2006):

You should not because your young honey wait you don't know much about this . He just wants to get inside your pants. He's way older than you . The bad thing he is nasty old and pobablly a pervert I bet wait talk to someone you want a boyfriend that exepts you for you not just because sex I swear I'm 29 trust me , take my advice hope you do love ya sweetie bye

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2006):

He five years older than you. Your gonna find somebodyelse please do find someone thats your age or 2 years older thatn you your too too young to have sex. Well if you do than please use a condom if you don't you'll get preganant only if you started you period . So I hope everything gos well . I think he just wants to get in your pants!!!!!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006):

Sweeheart this guy is definately not worth your time, he clearly does not respect you if he did he would not have put you in this situation. Having sex with him will not make you a proper girlfriend'. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years it was 8 months before we even talked about having sex and it was another 5 months before we actually did make love, I was 18 and he was 22, that is how I knew he respected me and that was what made me want to sleep with him. We are still together now and our relationship is great please don't rush into anything. Do you really want to me with a boy who would go off with another girl ust because you dont want to have sex?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2006):

If he really loves you he wouldn't be asking for sex from you at your age. He'd be content just to hold you close kiss you and know you love him back.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006):

i had a boyfriend like that when i was 13 and i gave in to him, its only now that i realise what a mistake that was. your virginity is precious not to anyone else but yourself and you shouldnt give it away under pressure. you need to see that you are strong and you dont need to be a "proper"girlfriend you should only be what you want to be to him, your still a child but also a young woman and i dont mean to sound patronising but you will regret it as time goes on if you do give into him.Save youself for someone you dont have doubt about and whom you know you dont need to ask someones advice,deep down you know wht is the right thing for you,i hope you realise it.xx make the right choice for yourself you have so much more time to be thinking of huge steps like this.xx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2005):

I beg of you listen to these other people. What do you really Know about this boy? For all you now (and from what I have read I would suspect) he could be a serial rapisted. Dump him and make sure you do it in a public place. I really think you should CALL THE POLICE, even thought you haven't done any thing it sounds like "SEXUAL GROOMING" to me. Trust me if you think doing this will make you look cool your wrong, it won't you will just end up with everyone laughting at you behind your back. Do you really want people pointing and making jokes about you every time you walk ito a room? Lets face it this "boy" (if you can call it that) is a pervert and that just now. What if he becomes a fully blow Paedophile? What he goes after children even younger than you? What if he goes on to kill someone? Could you live with your self? Don't think of your self think of those who come after you, he won't grow out of being a pervert he will get worse! I am sorry I have not minced my words and please don't just think I am just fear mongering, I know the media exaderates but it based on truth. I know. I hope in the time between you posting the question and this answer you have dumped the pervert.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2005):

DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"......his proper girlfriend"?

He will do you and then move on....that's what guys do....don't be stupid.

How will you feel when he's bangin your friend, next week with the same lame story he's giving you....you'll try to warn her, and she'll be like....."you're just jealous, he really loves me....because I'm different" PUHHHLEEAZZZE he's a pig for "dating" a 12 year old in the first place........THIS IS F******G SICK I CAN'T BELIEVE WE"RE EVEN DISCUSSING THIS what a joke.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2005):

If you have to have sex to please your boyfriend, then you should find someone else. At twelve years old, you should not be having sex. He is almost an adult and you are still a minor for one.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, chav123 +, writes (29 November 2005):

One question are you ready for it all I can say is its up to you but you are commiting a crime and If the boy loves you so much he won,t force you into anything you don,t what to do. ask him a question saying things like I would have sex with you but you can get into serious trouble if we get caught and ask him if he whats that.

Good look to everything

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, kissy +, writes (18 November 2005):

I am 20 years old. I lost my virginity just over a year ago. It hurt like hell. I was ready, it wasn't with someone i loved, but I'm glad I did it. But i did it for me, because I was ready.

You are not ready. Having sex does not make you a good girlfriend. And, to be a good boyfriend he should not push you into this.

I'm going to tell it to you straight.

You are not fully groen yet. Your vagina will not be as big as it should be when you first have sex. It will hurt so much. There will be blood. I had blood! And then you won't want to have sex but you will feel that you should, because for some reason you are letting this dick of a BOY, make you think that.

He doesn't love you, he loves the fact that he can control someone so much. And by the way, if you dump him first, you will look so cool!!!! And, I know that you won't like this question, but why is a 17 year old with a 12 year old? He hasn't had sex. and if he has he was probably crap.

Don't have sex with this idiot. Break up with him. Tell him that he can go and have sex with all those other girls that he goes on about.

Be a good person, don't be a good girlfriend. \being pregnant at 12 is not a good thing.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005):

hey !im 12 years old to.but the 1st thing i half to say girl how did u get a 17 year old ! he 5 years older then u ur still a preteen hes gunna want more then just holden hands and kissing u are so not ready to have sex.half the people in my school havent even kissed yet and to have sex?thats way to far for ur age not for his but for u i would say the hell with him and find someomne ur own age !

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, StaceyB31 +, writes (10 November 2005):

Honey I have to say as a Mother I beg you to stop and think. Really think about what you are about to get yourself into. Have you thought about the fact that you could get pregnant? You say he has been with lots of girls... What about disease. You could get many things but you could also get Aids and that's a death sentence. You could die from having sex. There is no protection you can use that is 100%. Even condoms, you know they break and they can slip off. The thing of it is you say there has been many girls. Well none of them were able to hang onto him by having sex. What makes you think you can? He will move on weather you have sex or not. He has proven that with all the other girls. He is after sex and only sex and he doesn't love you. Boy's will say anything and if he is pressuring you then what kind of relationship is that. Believe me you don't love this boy. You are to young to understand what love is and it isn't going to happen after 2 months. Once you lose your virginity then it's gone you can't get it back. It is a precious thing and you want to be sure you are giving it to the right person. Please seek some advice from someone you trust. If not your Parents then perhaps a teacher or school councelor. If that doesn't work then perhaps you have a teen center . I'm not sure where you are from but we have Planned Parenthood. I wish you luck and please know I will Pray for you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, pretty__eyes +, writes (9 November 2005):

girl first of all if a guy wont wait until you are ready then he aint worth it!!!!lookk if he is saying that you wont be his proper girlfriend until you have sex what makes you so sure he really cares for you? look i met my boyfriend when i was 13 and he was 16 we went out and we didnt have sex until 9 months that we had been going out he did not presure me so thats how i knew he loved me. think about it before doing anything with him because what if you get pregnant at age 12!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2005):

honey,don't you think he is too old for you?if you have sex with him,he will probably leave you hurted,and move on because he only wants to heve sex with you!if he really cared about you ,he wouldn't pressure you at all!you are not ready to have sex,you are only starting to mature and grow into a teenager!don't do it,you will regret it for the rest of your life!enjoy the innocense of these years!do the right thing,and don't have sex with him!!take my advice!Tania

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, emah +, writes (30 September 2005):

I had sex with a 19 year old at 12 and not only did I end up thinking I was pregnant I lost my mothers trust because Im sure your mom WOULD NOT condone this you are a child and now at 26 I can tell you that was the BIGGEST mistake I ever made I wish I had waited until I was a little(or alot) older but that is and always be how I lost my virginity, it is embarrasing now to think I was inlove he was insane to be involved with me. And one more thing after I lost my virginity because "everyone else was" I quickly realized most of them wished they had waited or were still a virgin themself. You will get alot more respect from others and yourself if you wait YOU ARE NOT AS GROWN UP AS YOU THINK and you will realize that there is a reason we live with mom and dad until we are older we make stupid choices at young ages you are still growing up dont do it to fast. Cherish your childhood its fun to be a kid

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, loulou +, writes (14 September 2005):

Sex is a special thing, especially if you are a virgin, You should not throw it away to anyone. What you have told us about this boy does not actually make sense. I fail to understand why you claim to love someone that referes to you as not even a 'proper girlfriend'. Ask yourself what is it about him you claim to love? His looks? His age? His personality? and I seriously doubt it is the latter.

The problem is that girls your age do claim to be in love when in reality they just like poeple alot, which is due to you hormones! Love is about finding someone you truly connect with and loving them for who they really are! Love does not stand a chance when it is based on pressure to have sex with him. I beg you, please please please leave this guy, just think about how he is making you feel by putting you in this situation.

There is nothing more I wanted when I was your age, than to lose my virginity to someone I REALLY did love and without regret. When that happened I was felt so happy, and it makes the whole experience so much more comfortable and easier for the both of you. Only you should be the judge of when you are ready to have sex.

You are twelve years old, you are not even a teenager yet, you have only just started growing sexually so you are not even near finishing developing. You need to think of the risks that sex with this boy would involve, the first time, and especially for a twelve year old, it WILL hurt!what if the condom splits? you could catch an STD if hes been with so many girls before you, if he's not been using protection, he's likely to be unclean, what if you become pregnant? and then there are the emotional consequences to deal with. After he sleeps with you, he'll probably just dump you anyway (which is harsh but it is true and you need to realise this) he has so much experience - he claims - what if he decides you don't match up to the rest of the people hes had sex with, and then you can't become his "proper girlfriend" anyway. I know that there is nothing more I can do to stop you doing anything stupid, and believe me if there was I would do it, if nothing else anyone has said has managed to persuade you then please just consider the time that these answers to your question have taken. People have taken time out of their lives to advise a girl (free of charge) they have never met and probably never will have any connection with to stop and leave this pathetic boy, surely that must mean something. And the reason so many people have responded is because they know or know someone close to them who has been in that situation and made the wrong decision, they know the devestating effects it can have.

So many girls all over the world are faced with this decision, don't make yourself one of those that regrets her decision! I just hope you receive these answers before it is too late.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2005):

You are "only" 12 years old? What are you waiting for?

You better spread your legs and fast for this guy or he will dump you pretty soon.

After you spread them and he is done using you, it is likely he will dump you. Don't feel bad - look at it as a learning experience. You will be a better whore for the next guy (you stupid tramp).

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, benjiluver +, writes (9 September 2005):

benjiluver agony auntGIRL are u out of your mind? lol i'm 12 and i HAD a 17 year old boyfriend... don't do it the night we did it i never ever saw him agai,and i talked to some of his other girlfriends he did the egzact same thing to them,all's he wanted with 12 and 13 year old girls is to pop there cherry! and that's it pleae please don't fall into what i fell into.!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2005):

Hi I've just been reading what all the other people said, and i agree 200% with what everybody says. especially Bev Conolly. Please think this through carefully. You are only 12. You are too young to have your beatiful innocence taken away from you by a guy that "you think you love". I bet that if you were to go through with this, after all is said and done and he has taken a precious part of you, he'll be looking for his next "virgin". If you do this, you'll look back at these answers, asking yourself WHY?! WHY did i do it. Please think this through clearly. Many young kids are ripped from their virginity purely through pressure from other kids that "claim to have"done it with so many". Who knows this pig might even refer to you as an "easy target for sex". Sex is something that is special. please wait for when you are ready and of legal age. When you are older make the special night, a night to remember, not a night of disaster, or just to become a "proper gf". Wait for your proper bf and make that night special when you are ready to give it to somebody that will love you.

Please listen to all of these answers. Yes we are complete strangers from different parts of the world, but we all care about you and we want you to prevent loosing something precious to the wrong guy who purely wants you for one thing which is SEX.

I hope that one day you'll right back saying, "I said no and Im proud of it" Please think this through very carefully.

Best of luck. rememeber what you want is your own choice and nobody can force you to do anything against your will!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, daniella +, writes (5 September 2005):

dont be pressured in to doing anything you dont want to if he likes you enough and respects you then he will respect your dessisions.

If you dont want to sleep with him talk to him about it if he starts saying anything like a propper girlfriend would and al that hes so not worth it at the end of the day your 12 hes 17 hes a teenager and wants what most teenages want

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2005):

he cant like you very much if he is presureing you into haveing sex with you when your just 12 my friend was with her boyfriend 6 onths before they had sex and she was 17 you should be the one to decide when it happens and you dont have to have sex with him to be a propper girlfriend bin him he doesn't sound like a nice boy

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2005):

hi

this guy seems a bit weird if you think about it you are 12 you arnt even a propper teenager yet and you are thinking about having sex you really do need to sit down and finish with this guy because he is pressureing you to do something you realy dont want to do because you wouldn't be posting it other wise in the UK we have rules agaist this kind of thing and he would be put in prison for a very long time if the police caught wind of wot he was doing to you this guy expect a 12 year old to saticfy the needs of a 17 year old is he crazy

but it's not your falut finish with this guy because other wise it will get out of hand and wot eva u do do not sleep with this guy

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Delila +, writes (3 September 2005):

If you do give him what he wants he will move on anyway, he just wants to have sex with you. As you get older you will learn that guys don't always mean what they say. He is more experienced and needs to have more respect for you. If you tell him you are not ready then he needs to repect that. I know you want to be with him but there is no guarantee he will stay with you. You have something very precious, your innocence, a lot of guys find that very attractive, once its gone there's no taking it back, keep it for sombody who respects you. Keep it until you feel ready, keep it until it's legal to give it up at least. Try to find an older female to talk to who you can trust and who won't judge you, try to take the advice you are given here to heart. Love yourself enough!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, pops +, writes (3 September 2005):

In most jurisdictions, it is a serious criminal offense for someone your bf's age to have sex with anyone as young as you. In the States we have laws that give an age of Consent, ie. this is the minimum age a child must attain before the law allows others to rely on the child's " consent " to have sex to be a defense to Rape. That age is usually 15. Any child under that age is considered incapable of legally consenting to having sex, and an adult( 17 is considered an adult) who has sex with a child is considered to have committed Rape, and is punished accordingly. Since child rapists are viewed by other criminals as the absolute bottom of depravity, such convicts generally have a hard time surviving in prisons, and must be placed in segregation for their own safety. If you like this young man, absolutely do not have sex with him under any circumstances.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (3 September 2005):

Anastasia agony auntSweetie, you cannot have sex with this guy. He is too experienced for you . In fact, at 12 honey having a serious boyfriend is not a good idea really. You are so young and so naiive at this point. This guy is going to break your heart. Having a virgin girlfriend and taking that virginity are just stripes to put on his shoulder. Please don't sleep with this guy honey. Go to your parents and tell them the truth,please...listen to these strange aunties on here that don't want you to get hurt okay.

Please honey, don't have sex with this guy okay

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, smartoldman +, writes (3 September 2005):

You said it yourself "He has had sex with lots of girls". WHY do you think that is? he gets what he wants and moves to the next girl. if you want to be the "proper girlfriend" then you will say "NO" and wait for the man of your dreams. if your BF loves you then he will respect your wishes and wait and not force you. once you give in and he has taken what he wants from you, he will find another young girl and take her as well. you may want to fit in with his "mates" but having sex so young is not the answer. say NO when i was young, when a girl told me no, it was no. if she said yes i asked 'are you sure'?, if she again said no it was no, if she said yes, the boy still till questioned the act. I respected a girl the decision, 'no', 'maybe' 'yes, i am not sure' so many time. i was a virgin till i was almost 22. we married a few years later.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2005):

It's illegal to have sex before the age of 16 so don't do it with him. Also he's too old for you. Get a boyfriend your own age.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (3 September 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntDo NOT have sex with him! I'll repeat that. Do NOT have sex with him.

You said it yourself: you're not ready. Things are moving too fast. You don't know much about sex. You don't have anyone to talk to about it.

With all that in the background, why on earth would you allow him to pressure you into it?

Dear, this is the reason that 12-year-old girls are actively discouraged from having 17-year-old boyfriends. The relationship is unbalanced; don't you see that? He makes you feel too young and ignorant around him and his friends, and because you're afraid to "lose" him, he can use your fear as a lever to force you into situations you otherwise wouldn't have to face.

That's unfair. By convincing you what a stud he is ("He's had sex with lots of girls" - oh yeah? So he says. Bet he's lying.), he's using an implied threat that he'll break up with you if you don't do everything he wants. Talk about a power imbalance! That's a terrible attitude! That's not love. That's a master/slave relationship.

Honey, "a good girlfriend" - which is what you say you want to be - is an equal partner, who has an equal share in the decisions and is a person who her boyfriend treats with respect and care. What this guy is doing is treating you like a subordinate to his sexual needs, not an equal! And don't think it will get better between you, because if you give in to this outrageous threat, he'll use it all the time, for everything.

In other words, you're being used.

Sorry to tell you the unpalatable truth, but this 17-year-old is hanging out with you, not because he loves you, but because you're so young and inexperienced that he can influence you more easily than he could a girl his own age.

If he'd really "go to another girl" for sex, if you don't do it, then he doesn't care much about you, does he? If that's the case, it's really the sex he cares about, right? He just sees you as a place to have sex, which is completely unforgivable.

Please, please, please, dear, tell your parents about this, then walk away from him. You need help and more advice than I can give you, because the obvious suggestion - get rid of him! - is one you'll ignore.

Tell your folks (or a school counsellor, or a good friend's mum, or a teacher) that you've been going out with a 17-year-old and that things are moving too fast, and you need to talk to someone. You don't have to connect the dots for them; they'll understand immediately.

Whatever you do, DON'T have sex just to please him. It won't make him love you more. It won't make you a "proper" anything, except possibly "properly" pregnant (have you thought of that?). Most of all, having sex with this guy won't ensure that he won't leave you for another girl. That most likely, will happen anyway, leaving you in who knows how much strife.

No. No. No.

Practice saying these phrases: "No." "I'm not ready for sex yet." "If you care for me, you'll understand that I'm too young for sex."

In my book, 12 is too young even to be dating other 12-year-olds. You're just a kid; you deserve to have a carefree life for a few more years, before the headaches and heartbreak and pressures of dating descend on you.

You're clearly a bright girl, so do the smart thing and don't be pressured by this oaf. This relationship is dangerous to your health and mental well-being. Get out.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.078125!