A
female
age
36-40,
*weetpie45
writes:Hi Friends~ My bf, 33yrs old, and I, 26yrs old, have been dating for 6 months now. On our second date he told me that 3 months prior he had dated this girl for 2 weeks and after he broke things off with her she came to him 2 weeks later and said she was pregnant and it was his. Now from the start of our relationship to now his sex drive has been at an ultimate low! (we never had the "honeymoon" stage) We have had many discussions about this and he blames it on his job b/c he has to get up at 5:45am and he works construction and he is just too tired. Funny though, he gets home between 3-3:30 and takes a nap until 6pm. How tired can one guy be? Then he blamed it on the preggers drama and is afraid to get me pregnant, even though I'm on the pill and we do have condoms (just don't use them but suggested we could start). And last he says that I just have too much of a sex drive. That he has never been with a girl who was so sexual. S**t, he has never gone down on a girl before me, never fingered a girl before, never watched a porn or scene a vibrator before he met me.My Ex-bf and I had sex almost everyday and now with my new bf, I'm lucky to get it once a week! Oh, but when my bf is drinking...watch out! He wants me like there is not tomorrow. So now I have made the rule that there will be no sex when he has been drinking. I explained to him how awful it makes me feel that my bf only wants me when he is trashed! Of, course he is apologetic and says he never wants to make me feel like that (he really is a nice guy)My bf was married for 5yrs and said his wife would only have sex with him about 3x a month b/c she was so insecure about her body. Now, the thing that has finally put me over the edge is that 2 weeks ago I put on a sexy nighty and started to put the moves on him. I got him hard and he literaly grabbed my had off his penis and said, "I'm just not feeling like it." I asked him if he wasn't attracted to me anymore and he said "no" that he was very attracted to me. Then I said, that I've never been with a guy who's penis was hard and didn't want to have sex. Once again, he said he just wasn't feelin it. This has made me so mad at him that the last 2 weeks I've slept in a different room and blamed it on his snoring. And told him "NO" to sex when he wanted it twice this week just to get back at him. I know head games are not the way to go and I'm not that type of person but I'm so frustrated! Can someone please HELP me? I'm almost to the point of wanting to break up with him b/c of this. I thought in the beginning of our relationship I could get pass this b/c he is so wonderful in every other way but I'm not so sure anymore.Could he have low sex drive b/c:1. depressed about baby drama2. smokes 2pkts of cigarettes a day3. Ex-wife didn't want to have sex4. feels insecure b/c he is not knowledgeable when it comes to sex (which doesn't bother me...I'm will to teach)
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condom, depressed, ex-wife, insecure, porn, sex drive, smokes, the pill, vibrator Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (29 March 2009):
 Well, I'm glad you can agree that head games are just not the way to get your point across in a relationship;) Sounds pretty complicated. At his age, I am suprised he has little experience with sex. How much do you really know about this girl he was seeing for only 2 weeks that is now claiming she is pregnant? Has your boyfriend considered the possability that he may not be the dad? I'm not saying this girl is lying, but honestly, these days you just never know. I am concerned about a guy that gets errect and chooses not to follow through with his girlfriend. Perhaps there is an underlying issue here that has not been put on the table. It is time to talk to him about what is really going on with him. Let him know that you have noticed that he is completely out of sorts here and that you feel he may not be telling you something. A good guy friend of mine was seeing a very nice girl for a few months when he got a phone call from a previous girlfriend claiming he was going to be a father with her baby. He was very happy in the relationship he was in, but once he got this news, things changed between them. He called me asking for advice, of course I told him about getting a DNA test done once the baby arrived, and to try to support the mother of that baby. As for the current girlfriend, I told him to just be upfront and honest with her about everything going on on his head. Then, I told asked him what he wanted to do about all this. He explained to me that he loved the current girlfriend, but can't help but feel like he should try to make things work with baby's mama for the baby's sake. Maybe your boyfriend feels the same way. (By the way, it turned out, 9 months later, the baby was born, and my friend followed through with my advice and got a DNA test, and it turns out is isn't the father, go figure). Open up in a loving way and discuss with him your observations with your man, and let him know that you feel it is driving a major wedge in your relationship, cause it isn't just the sex. If everything was going well, the sex would naturally be doing well too. Good luck, I hope he opens up to you and lets you know whats going on in his head.
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